DP Interviews
by InuApril1445
Summary: Hello! I'm here in the DP universe to get some much needed answers. You know what that means? Yep, let the torture-I mean interviews begin! We'll get some revealing answers from friends, family, villains, and the ghost-boy himself. Rate/comment please!
1. Vlad Masters

_**There are some spoilers here, so if you don't want things to get spoiled, don't read. And don't blame me if the ending is spoiled! Oh, and I don't own any of the Danny Phantom characters, or Danny himself.**_

Hello, people! I'm here in the Danny Phantom universe to get some much needed answers. So, you know what that means? Torture...I'm mean interviews. Yep! It's time to get the real story behind the story of Danny Phantom from his friends, family, villains, and the ghost-boy himself, Danny Fenton! They'll reveal some pretty interesting stuff!

Oh, how rude! My name, in case you were so interested, is Navok. Rebecca Navok! So, now you know who I am! Let's get on with our first sucka-I mean interview!

Hi! Can you please say your name?

"Vlad. Now, can you please take this stupid belt off?"

You say that kindly, but I know that if I do that you'd turn into Plasmius and then leave. So, no. (giggles) Okay, so, what do you eat for breakfast?

(Looking incredulous) "Why…?"

Well, you know, I was just wondering. You're a fruitloop, so I just wanted to know if you actually ate fruitloops.

"I'm not a fruitloop."

Sure, you say that now, but everyone knows-

"I am NOT a fruitloop."

Yeah, but in Kindred Spirits and on several other occasions, you've been called-

"I AM NOT A FRUITLOOP! (Panting with anger)"

Fine, fine, you're not a fruitloop (in your head), but, anyway, don't you kind of owe Jack Fenton?

"Why on earth would I owe that oaf anything?"

Well, he's the reason you're a millionaire. Without him, who knows what you would be doing!

"I owe that oaf nothing." (Sticks his nose in the air)

Yes, but don't you like your ghost powers?

"I'm used to them."

That's not a valid answer.

"I've gotten used to them."

YES OR NO! (growling)

"Yes, yes! I like my powers! Just don't growl like that!"

(Smiles sweetly ^_^) So, if it wasn't for Jack Fenton, you wouldn't have that, and you would basically have nothing to do with your life except name your cats Maddie.

"I do not like Jack. I never will. It was his bumbling mistake that I got that awful acne, and then he took my love away from me. Ghost powers or not, I wouldn't consider that fair."

So...you have a personality complex, don't you?

"What?"

Well, you're like one of those villains who acts nice sometimes but then does some random diabolical thing that will never work and ends up getting written off.

"I was never written off."

Oh, yeah, you were sentenced to live the rest of your life on an asteroid thing. That's SO much better. You're just lucky I managed to get you back to earth for this interview. Now, what do you think of Danny Fenton.

"What do you mean? He's a bright young boy. Shame that he never took up my offer to teach him." Shrugs shoulders. "It would have been so much better for that boy."

Don't you think it was kind of over the top to make clones of him?

"No."

That was a rather short answer, wouldn't you say?

"Making a clone of him would have allowed me to destroy him and take back what is rightfully mine."

You're weird.

"You're weirder. Who bothers to interview people for random reasons."

I'm going.

"Where?"

Oh, I need a snack.

"What are you having? I might want some."

All right. I'll bring some Fruitloops for the the fruitloop!"

"I AM NOT A FRUUUUUUUUITLOOOOOOOOOOOP!"

**That was the end of Vlad's interview. I'm going to try to make my way to all the characters on Danny Phantom, but feel free to make suggestions and stuff. And, if you want me to revisit one, I'll do that too. Just leave me a comment and review! See ya next time! Bye :D**


	2. Skulker and Tucker!

_**There are some spoilers here, so don't spoil things for yourself unless you really want to, in which case, feel free to spoil things! If I owned Danny Phantom, pigs would be flying. So, no, I don't own any characters of Danny Phantom or the half-ghost himself.**_

I'm back! Did you miss me? No! Well, now that's just rude! It took me awhile to schedule the next interview, but I finally got him to come in. Please, welcome the frog thing dude guy...thing.

"I'm not a frog."

Yes you are, now, please tell all the ladies and gentlemen out there your name.

"I'm not a frog. I am an ectoplasmic, ghost-capturing machine."

You're in self-denial. Now, just say your name, before I get angry!

"You don't scare me!"

Uh-huh, sure. All the faint hearted people should look away right now. (Becomes something so scary that no words could ever hope to describe it. The guest screams and curls into a fetal position.) Now, are you going to say your name or what?

"S-Skulker."

See? You're so much better whenever your meek. That's why I let you keep your suit! :D

"I'll get you for this!"

"Hey guys! Sorry I'm late!"

Who's that? Ugh, and what is that awful stench!

"You mean, ectoplasmic goo and the Box Ghost in the morning?" (Skulker holds his nose, trying not to breathe in the air.)

Actually, I smell land fills and ash. Oh, man! That's so awful!

(Tucker Foley runs into the room, waving his PDA in the air) "Tucker's here!"

What are you doing here? Today's the day I interview Skulker! You're next week!

Tucker: "No. My people told me that today was my interview!

Okay, people! It's only the second edition and we're already having sceduling conflicts? Who's in charge of that? (Looks over at the Dairy King) Why'd we hire you? Shouldn't you still be haunting Vlad's mansion or something?

"I thought I was doing a Gouda job!"

Seriously, that was a really bad pun. We'll talk about this later. For now, onto the interview. Tucker, you can sit right there, next to Skulker.

(Tucker looks nervously at Skulker, who glares at him.) "I think I'll just stand."

You're choice (shrugs shoulders). Anyway, first off, Skulker, would you consider yourself a blob or a frog? In ghost terms of course.

"I'm a predator of all unique ghosts. Does it really matter what's behind the suit."

Tucker: "Yes"

(Glaring at Tucker) "I have no need to explain myself to you. Especially to this guy."

Okay. I can see that we're getting somewhere. Now, Tucker. I had questions planned for you, but, first, I've gotta ask. Why do you keep wearing that awful cologne?

"You mean Foley, by Tucker Foley?"

Whatever.

"Well, the ladies love it."

Oh, so you've actually made progress in your love life.

"Yeah."

(Stares at Tucker, who's rubbing his PDA.) You know, I'm talking about girls when I say that, right? Human girls. Not inanimate objects.

(Holding PDA close to him) "She doesn't mean that, baby."

"(Skulker snickers)"

This is kind of weird. So, Skulker, after everything that happened in the series, are you still going to hunt Danny?

"Is that a real question?"

Yes.

"I answered that at the end. I specifically said that when I said he was more valuable for saving the world."

So, that's a yes? (Looks pointedly at Tucker.)

"I'd say so. Yes." (Tucker holds up his PDA and links it up to Skulker, who is sent pinwheeling through the ceiling. Rebecca and Tucker watch him go as he scream) "I thought I had fixed that problem!"

Nice work.

"Any time."

So, how's life as mayor of Amity Park.

"Good."

Lots of paperwork?

"I guess."

So, like, did you actually have to be elected, or were you just put there because of your relation to Danny?

"I don't think I should answer that question."

That's all the answer I need. (Smiles evilly.)

(Skulker blasts a hole in the roof and re-enters the room) "How dare you do that!"

(Tucker holds up PDA) "Do you actually want me to do that again?"

(Hanging head) "No. (

Isn't it good to be among friends? (Hugs everyone) Anyway, so, now we've learned a lot, haven't we? Skulker's a blobbly frog, and Tucker is probably never going to have an actual girlfriend.

Skulker: "I am not a blobby frog! That's awful misrepresentation."

Tucker: "She doesn't mean it, PDA!"

You guys are so funny! Now, I have to have a few words with the Dairy King over there about double-booking.

"It's a Gouda thing I can fly away!" (Flying away)

YOU ALREADY USED THAT PUUUUUN!

**Thanks, you guys, for all the awesome comments! Thanks for the suggestion, **dragonaqua**. I hoped you liked it. And **Hottiegally**, Skulker says hi. "I said no such thing!" Yes he did. He's just afraid to admit it! And **Pii, Fugitive of Gray, and rosie2325,** I'm glad you guys liked Vlad's interview. Yes, yes he is a fruitloop.**

**And, now, I'm going to keep saying this no matter how annoying I become :) You guys should make comments and reviews and stuff. I'll make my way to all the characters, but it's always good to see who you guys want next! And, I'll do revisits too. All you have to do is ask! Until next time, I hope you enjoyed Tucker's and Skulker's interviews. Now, to find that Dairy King...**


	3. Ember

**Author's Note**

**La, la, la! Oh! Hi! Guess what? I DON'T own Danny Phantom! Amazing, right? Pigs haven't flown yet, so, until that day, I'll keep making these little messages, no matter how annoying it gets! :] Aww man! The alarm is going off again. SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! ALSO, THERE WAS A SPILL ON AISLE 4! Can someone please fix this thing before we start the interview?...That's better.**

Me: Hi guys! I'm back! Sorry it took me so long. After last time's little incident, and I won't name names (*cough* Dairy King *cough*), I had to get a new secretary. Or secretaries, as is the case, since there are two of them. I'd like to introduce you to the octo-dude thingees.

Octo-dude Thingees: Wegidghwodjgneggthrirhg! _Translation-We have a name you know!_

Me: The only problem is that I have no idea what they're saying. And, if I did, I'm sure that my response would be along the lines of, "I really don't care." (Smiles) Anyway, today we have a very special treat, don't we octo-dude thingees?

Octo-dude Thingees: Geigheingndhghefwjiofjd! _Stop calling us octo-dude thingees!_

Me: Once again, I'm pretty sure that this moment calls for an "I don't care," (Whispering) Seriously, does anyone understand what those two are saying? (Normal tone) Okay everyone, let's have a big hand for…uh, what's your name again?

Ember: How can you possibly forget Remember?

Me: No, I don't remember. That's the point. Now, who are you? Those octo-dues can't tell me anything, since they only speak gibberish.

Ember: No, that was the name of my song. Remember.

Me: I don't remember. Now, what's your name!

Ember: Ember! For crying out loud! I was the only one on the stinkin' show who sang a song!

Me: Not necessarily true. You didn't sing the theme song.

Ember: You get the point.

Me: Now, don't be all upset. Let's not forget about your adoring fans that are waiting outside to hug and get autographs from you.

Ember: Phe. They don't worry me. All I have to do is become intangible and escape this awful place. How did I get sucked into this in the first place?

Me: That's not important. (Puts the Fenton thermos behind back) Anyway, you can't go intangible. I set up a little ghost-shield right where you're sitting in case you tried that. Every time you do something ghostly, you'll get shocked. Painfully. (Smiles)

Ember: And people call me the bad guy. So, what, you're threatening me?

Me: No. I wouldn't call it threatening. I'm just telling you that something bad will happen if you don't heed my orders. Now, onto the interview.

Ember: Wait. I don't see any fans.

Me: (Goes to window and pulls back curtain to reveal thousands of screaming adolescents, with Dash at the front yelling "I LOVE YOU EMBER!") Believe me now? This is why I took the batteries out of your guitar.

Ember: (Checking guitar) You did what now! How did I not notice?

Me: Not my problem. Anyway…whatever your name is…

Ember: EMBER! Seriously?

Me: Did the end of the series bother you?

Ember: You mean the fact that I wouldn't be in any more episodes or me helping Danny get his powers back or how they never changed the theme songs to my no. 1 hit?

Me: No, no, none of that. The fact that Sam and Danny started dating.

Ember: (blushing) W-why would that bother me?

Me: Come on. You're going to pretend that you didn't have a crush on Fenton?

Ember: I'm not answering that question.

Me: If you don't, I'll let the fans in. Sounds like Dash would really like a hug.

Ember: Okay, okay. It bothered me a little. You happy?

Me: So you have a crush on Danny?

Ember: (gazes at the ground that is getting wilder) Yes, yes, fine. I had a crush on the twerp. Can you, like, close the curtains again?

Me: Nope. I'm good. Thanks for asking though. Anyway, why is your hair, like, a flame?

Ember: Hello? My name is Ember! My hair's on fire! I'm a star! Do you not see a common pattern here?

Me: No need for the sass. Geez, all I did was ask a question…uh, what's your name again?

Ember: **EMBER! **You know, "Ember, you will remember" (fans scream louder) And you guys! Don't you have lives? Shouldn't you be somewhere else until I control your minds already?

Dash: My mind's all yours, babe!

Ember: And you! You are the worst host/interviewer I have ever met! I would rather get mauled by fans then put up with one more second with you!

Me: Fine. Octo-dude thingees, let 'em in! (Octo-dudes open the window and fans start crowding in)

Ember: Wait! I didn't mean that serioooooouussssssllyyyyyyyy! (gets mobbed and dragged out by all her fans, Dash leading the way)

Me: And that is the reason you don't mess with the host/interviewer. Well, I think that went very well, and, uh, what's her name, uh, Sember, would agree with me.

Octo-dude Thingees: EMBER! _Ember!_

Me: Whoah! They speak! Hey guys! How do you like working for me?

Octo-dude Thingees: _. It had been the worse experience we have ever had. How could we remember the name and not you?_

Me: I think they've loved being employed here. Your welcome, your welcome! Now, let's see the list of victims-I mean Danny Phantom celebs. Who do you think should go next?

Octo-dude Thingees: Ntwhhgw! _Not us!_

**Hey guys! I'm so happy that you're reviewing! Please, continue! Sorry if I didn't get to your suggestion, but don't worry. It's in the works. But please, I need your help. I tried this new format (you noticed, right?) and I want to know if you prefer this one or the other two? I honestly like/dislike them equally, so I'm going by your suggestions here. The dairy king would like you to know that he is terribly sorry for last time's mistake, and is punishing himself by revealing this awful secret. HE'S LACTOSE INTOLERANT! Who could've guessed it? Now, PLEASE REVIEW! Next time will be even more fun!**

**Also, thank you, **Hottiegally, dragonaqua, **and **JuneLuxray. **Don't worry. Your suggestions won't miss the wrath of my interviews. **Pikachuhunter1 **and **Fugitive of Gray**, I hope you guys liked Ember. Until next time, see you…or not if you're a ghost. Either way…bye 8)**


	4. Walker

**Hi all! I met up with Butch Hartman and asked for the rights to Danny Phantom. Guess what? I still don't have them! I was told that I would misuse the powers and make all the villains wear tutus, so I wasn't able to handle the responsibility. SPOILER…ALERT…SPOILER…ALERT! Okay, who fixed that dang alarm? I know it was you, Octo-Dude Thingees!**

Boohoo! Who cares about the stinkin' rules? I want to see Dark Danny in a tutu!

"But that would be breaking…the rules" (Evil organ tune plays in the background) Dum, dum, duuuuuuum.

Who was that?

"You should know. You invited me."

Octo-Dude Thingees?

", _Please, just call us ecto-pusses. Or ecto-pi. Anything but that!"_

"You should know who's talking. Not knowing is against…the rules." Dum, dum, duuuuuuuum.

I'm gonna take a wild guess. You're Walker, ain't you?

"Ain't isn't a proper word. That's going against…the grammar rules." Dum, dum, duuuuuuuum.

Okay, where'd the organ come from? And you, just stop saying "the rules"! It's seriously annoying.

"You needed an exclamation point. That's going against…"

I swear, if you say, "the rules" one more time, I will get you in a tutu, no matter how much you complain!

"Are you threatening me?"

You're the second person to ask me that. Fine, yes, I'm threatening you! Are you happy now.

"You know that threatening an officer-"

Please, shut up. Okay, now here are my rules. I ask you questions, and you answer them. I'm allowed to do anything I want, you're not? Savvy?

"That's not exactly fair."

Tough luck. Okay, I have a question.

"Isn't that the point?"

Why is it that you all get more annoying than the one before you?

"Well, that's because you're a horrible hostess."

That was a rhetorical question.

"If I hadn't answered, I'd have been going against…the regulations." Dum, dum, duuuuuum.

I warned you-

"I said regulations, not rules. Therefore, I have stayed within regulations." Smiles evilly.

I really hate you. Okay, first question. Do you work for the Guys in White?

"No."

But you wear white all the time. And I mean ALL the time.

"That is because I set a higher standard with my perfect record. It's completely free of any penalties or other blemishes, and that is reflected upon my clothing."

You sure take a lot of pride in your clothing don't you? Would you describe that as a…girly quality?

Purses lips. "No."

I think you do.

"And I think I don't."

I think that if you don't answer the questions honestly, you will be wearing a tutu, and then you'll have to wave good-bye to your blemish-free record.

"You wouldn't dare."

Oh, I would dare. In fact, Octo-Dude Thingees! Bring in the tutus! Which color do you prefer, baby pink or hot pink.

"Honestly, I prefer the baby pink, since it has the closest resemblance to white of the two choices given."

Um, you didn't have to answer that. Just say if clothing is one of your more…feminine qualities. Or is there something more secretive that you'd rather not share?

"Do I have to answer that question?"

Yes, yes you do. Oh, thank you Octo-Dude Thingees. Here's your tutu! It's ready to be worn, too. Just you're size, in fact!

"Fine, fine. Here's your darn secret. It's _whisper whisper whisper too softly to be heard."_

NO WAY! THAT'S AWESOME! You should yell it to the skies!

"I think not."

So you're going to break…the rules! Dum, dum, duuuuuuum!

"Never!"

Then say it.

"I…I own 2,573,957,283,857 kitty cats." In a really girly, high-pitched voice, "THEY'RE SOOOOO CUUUUUUTE!"

I love my job. So, onto another topic!

"Thank the Ghost King! Nothing could ever be worse than that!"

I have Wulf right here with me, and he would like to…thank you for releasing him and allowing him to escape into the human world to live his life even though he was a prisoner and by releasing him you broke…the rules…and then you kept that a secret from your bosses who are right here too and they plan on firing you while I make you wear a tutu.

"What?"

I'm not going to say anything.

_Ember runs into the room. _"Stay back! I'm warning you…"

_Dash runs after her! _ "But I love you so much!"

_Walker rises from his seat and points!_ "Those two are breaking…the rules! I'll go catch them!" Dum, dum, duuuuum!

Wait! We're not done! And Dash was next! You can't just go chasing after them. Oh, and it's TUTU TIME!

Walker-"Get away from me you freak!"

Dash-"I'm getting interviewed? Sweet!"

Walker-"Not if I can help it. You're better off anyway!"

Wulf-"Hello everyone. I think everyone's busy, so I'll just say that Phantom and I are great buds now! We go to the park and play fetch every Wednesday."

IT'S NOT YOUR TURN WULF! HOW DID I LOSE CONTROL LIKE THIS?

**Yeah, so that ends this interview. Thank you guys for reading, and remember, REVIEW, SUGGEST, COMMENT, WHATEVER! I really appreciate what you have to say! Now, I have to find Dash so I can unravel his girly pastimes! Ta Ta For Now! –Rebecca Navok**


	5. Dash Baxter

**Nope. I still don't own Danny Phantom. Unfortunately. Wouldn't that just be awesome? I'm still sticking to my villains-in-tutus plan. Pink tutus…Oh, and I fixed the spoiler alert alarm. SPOILER ALERT…SPOILER ALERT! Are you kidding? Again? How long can I possibly keep pulling this gig? ._.**

"" _We've got a very special guest today!_

What? Oh, forget it. I need an ecto-puss translator.

"Geingjaah! Shgeoaehbjjjfldjaljekljbjaihe!" _Finally! Our names have been heard!_

Anyway, the Octo-Dude Thingees-

"JIIIIIIIIIIIIIII" _NOOOOOOOOOO_!

Are you done interrupting?

(Ecto-pi look at each other, then nod.)

Okay. Now, as promised, we have Dash Gagster.

"It's Baxter, bub."

Uh-huh. Sure. You've read my other interviews, right.

"Maybe."

So, in Dash-language, it's "no" because you'd never read anything. Well, if you had, you would know that what you say doesn't matter. You're going to have to deal with my ill-conceived jokes that I use in the hopes of garnering laughter from an audience of readers. You know, my audience of readers could interrupt me, saying, "OH, NO! It's not ill-conceived. You're work is brilliant!" Any time…

"You rant a lot. Who are you talking to."

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! Anyway, I'm going to ask you questions, and you get to answer them.

"There's a test? No one warned me! Where's Foley when you need the dweeb?"

Um, you know all the answers to this test. All you have to do is be honest with me and yourself.

"But that's even worse!"

Ooookaaaay. So, first question. Would you consider yourself a bully?

"No. I inspire less cool kids to hide in terror from my manliness."

Seriously?

"Yeah. Why? Got a problem with that?"

No. What gives you this sense of…um…well…why do you do this?

"These are the best years of my life. After high school, everything goes down hill!"

I'm not sure that fit in context here…

"Huh? Wha- Did I seriously just say that?"

Is it just me, or did the air get, like, 20 degrees colder.

"Don't know."

Okay, next. You aren't intelligent.

"Hey!"

So where do you come up with those lovely nicknames for Danny Fenton?

"You be Danny Fen-toenail? It just comes to me."

I bet fifty bucks that you pay somebody to give you those names."

"I do not. I take great pride in my creativity."

Yeah, I'm sure you do. Do you even know what a fenturn is?

"Does it matter?"

Actually, I don't know what a fenturn is. I'm pretty sure it's not a word.

"It just fits, 'kay?"

So, you're saying that in your spare time, you sit at home and think about what new names you're going to call Danny the next day. Remember, be honest.

"So what if I do? It doesn't affect you."

No, I suppose it shouldn't. (Turns around in chair, rummages in back pocket, then pulls out a diary.) Only I have your diary!

"What? I-I don't have a diary. And even if I did, that is just so random, it doesn't make any sense whatsoever."

You do realize you just used a four syllable word, right?

"No I didn't. Whatsoever is three words. What. So. Ever."

No, that's one word. Read a book.

"I don't read. I get nerds to do that for me."

Oh, please. That's really pathetic. Now, onto this diary…

"It's not mine, dude, so just put it down carefully, and I'll make sure to make fun of the dweeb who wrote that." (Laughs nervously)

Or I could read the first couple of pages out loud and then we embarrass that dweeb. Now, let's see. I'm opening the book-

"No, please stop!"

I'm flipping to the first page.

"You're really weird, Navok. What is that? Those blue people from Avatar?"

No, that Naavi or something. By the way, while I'm at it, no, I don't own that three hour movie. Seriously, when is too long too long? Please don't flame for that.

"Oh, they will. You will feel those flames."

You don't even know what I'm talking about!

"Y-yes I do. You're going to a bonfire."

You. Are. HOPELESS!

"That's why these are the years I'll enjoy most! Haven't you been listening to me."

Stop distracting me. I'm reading your diary, whether you like it or not. Now, let's see….Is this what I think this is?

"No!" (Gets out of chair and tries to tackle the overly generous and totally awesome hostess AKA me, who nimbly and gracefully evades the pathetic attempt.)

You're a winning quarterback? Well, worse tragedies have been made. Anyway, look at this! I suppose I should have known better.

"Please give it back to me!"

Fine. (Tosses book over to Dash. He fumbles and lets it fall) FYI, I'm sourly disappointed. You get out of punishments for your supposed athletic feats, and you can't even catch a book tossed by a girl?

"You're not human! You're a Naavi!"

No, those people are blue. As you can see, I'm totally happy with my life…That was a joke. Come on, people, this is good stuff!

"And you called me hopeless."

At least I'm not the one who drew doodles of himself flying in the sky with a Danny Phantom costume. With Ember next to you singing for you?

"I'm Dash Phantom. And she's very interested in football players."

Thus, this is proof, solid proof, that Dash really has no life. Now, where's that thermostat? Octo-Duds? Yep, I changed your name!

"Geijbiejfijijboiejijjk" _That's why Spectra's here bring down the temperature. You'll pay soon enough._

I have no idea what you're saying. Anyway, if there was a ghost/therapist/weird-young-booger thing in the area, I'll just have you know that after every interview, all dirt/disease carrying things get sucked up and disintegrated. Until next time-

(Spectra flies to the window, banging) "Let me out of here!"

This has been another wonderful peak into the DP universe. I hope you guys seriously liked it. Seriously.

**And, seriously, I hope you guys review! I want to hear what you think. Plus, suggest to your heart's content. I'll get the next interview up ASAP. In the meantime, please REVIEW! And, while you're at it, SUGGEST! If you want, you can also ask me to revisit a dude/ghost person thing. Anyway, bye =D**


	6. Navok?, Lunch Lady, Box Ghost, Box Lunch

**Me no ownee the Phantom Danny. And, arning-way, poiler-say head-a. If you figured that second part out, you know pig-latin! Congratulations! You win…nothing. Yay!**

Hey all! I'm back. The interview took a while to put up because the Octo-Duds were so happy that they threw me a party with cake and everything.

"Egheibj." _You made us do it._

It was a Danny Phantom cake. Aww, it was delicious. And boy was I surprised!

"Geheijbj." _You knew the exact date and time. You weren't surprised._

I'm so giddy, I might fire them because I feel that they're getting a bit too talkative. (Innocent smile)

(Talking to each other) "jgiejoijgo." _I think she knows more than she lets on._

Anyway, today's gonna be a real treat. I'm interviewing myself, Rebecca Navok! I don't know, I found myself outside the window…literally! And who am I to judge someone with such high-class caliber. So, say hi to the readers, Rebecca.

"Hi to the audience, Rebecca."

That's not what I meant. And, hey, why is your voice so deep?

"The real question is why didn't you notice it earlier."

Hey, I'm the one who insults people here.

"Yeah, but I'm you."

You're not me. I'm me.

"What if you aren't?"

Then you would be the one in the plush, comfortable leather seat designed specifically for you.

(Ectopusses whispering in the background) "Gehijgje" _Why does she always rub it in?_

"How do you know I don't like this, umm, vinyl chair?"

Because no one likes vinyl.

"Some people do, or else vinyl wouldn't have been invented it."

Yeah, but no one likes the weird noises it makes.

"You're insulting people who like vinyl."

But no one likes vinyl. THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!

"Someone's a little testy."

YOU…ARE NOT…ME! (panting between words.)

"Ha, ha, ha XD"

WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?

"'Cause I want to. Now, if you don't mind, I'm here to reclaim my fanfic."

IT'S MY FANFIC!

"No, it's mine."

YOU CAN'T TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!

"Why are you speaking in all caps?"

'CAUSE I'M ANGRY! AND YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!

"I'm the hostess, Rebecca Navok."

Oooooh. I think I know what's going on. Amorpho, take the shape and your deep voice that for some reason people don't really notice and get out of that vinyl chair reserved for my respected guests.

(Changes into Amorpho.) "Fine. It wasn't that comfy anyway."

HA! I told you!

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

You said that Danny that one time, and then you were in that group attacking him in the last episode. How can I hold you to your word? How can you speak when you don't have a mouth?

"Those questions aren't very related. But you're quite observant. I think I'll get some attention here. Until next time…"

Hey! He vanished. That's not very nice. And I was about to serve cookies…You know, something tells me that this is going to be one of those ongoing things. That's not good…for my mental health.

"Did somebody say cookies?"

Oh no. Octo-Duds, did you plan another interview?

"Ohgoeijoibjije." _You're the one who messed up the schedule with your dumb Navok replica._

Yeah, well then, who's that?

"But cookies aren't on the menu. IT'S MEATY MONDAY!"

Okay, what is with the excessive use of capital letters today?

"YOU CHANGED THE MENU?"

Okay, if that isn't the Lunch Lady, then I am losing my marbles.

"NOBODY CHANGES MY MENU!"

Hello, Ms. Lunch Lady. Um, no, cookies weren't on the menu because there isn't a menu.

"NO MENU? Would you like a tray of cookies?"

Um, I was baking them, but sure, I'll have some.

"WELL YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY!"

That's mean. There isn't a menu, so I really don't see what the point of getting so upset is.

"EVERYONE NEEDS A MENU!"

I can see real progress being made today. You know, I'm the one who accuses people and ghosts, namely you at the moment, and you're the one who cowers in fear on the vinyl chair I made for you.

"NO ONE LIKES VINYL!"

I know, that's what I've been saying! Okay, so just calm down. I'll have my Octo-Duds make up a menu, right Octo-Duds! Be sure to include cookies, milk-

"AND MEAT!"

Yeah, I guess a little meat.

"A LOT OF MEAT!"

Okay, okay. Stop using those big letters! It hurts my head.

"So how about some cookies, dearie."

Um, no thanks?

"HAVE A COOKIE!"

Fine, fine!

"Now, what was it you wanted to ask me?"

Um, let me see…This is what happens when you use big letters against me!

"Didn't you use most of the big letters at the beginning?"

That's not the point! I can use them, you can't. Deal with it. Oh, you see, this is the way my interviews should be. Okay, so Lunch Lady, would you consider yourself a good guy or a bad guy.

"I'm not a guy, sweetie."

I mean, um, are you one of the helper characters, or one of the characters that wants the downfall of the hero, aka Danny Phantom.

"Honey, I want what's best for the menu."

So…

"I'm the helper of all menus everywhere!"

Okay, well, not that I really understand anything. Maybe your hair net is on a bit too tight. Anyway, that was just a warm up question. The real question is, do you have any feelings for that ghoul.

"BEWARE!" the Box Ghost comes through the door, literally.

Ugh, stop with the big letters!

"Oh, I mean, beware!"(whispering)

"What is he doing here?"

Are you blushing? How can a ghost blush?

"I am not!" both together screaming.

Yeah, I wasn't asking you, Box Ghost. Oh, and to make things better, I got permission from Clockwork to bring a very special person for both of you to see.

"BEWARE!" Box Lunch appears next to Box Ghost and Lunch Lady.

Do I have to repeat myself about the big letters? Seriously?

"BEWARE!" Box Lunch repeats.

Honestly, sometimes I think no one listens to me. Anyway, so, is anything going on between the two of you? Hmm, HMMM!

"Those are big letters!" Box Ghost shouts.

"Yeah!" Lunch Lady agrees.

You're changing the subject! That means the rumors are true. Everyone! Listen! Box Ghost and Lunch Lady are, in fact, a pair! You couldn't hide it! Ha!

"Now you're just putting words into our mouths." Box Ghost whimpers.

"Mom, what are they talking about?" Box Lunch looks up at Lunch Lady.

"Is the menu done yet, sweetie?"

I don't like that fake innocence look, Lunch Lady. What are you up to?

"Geihbjiojeiojiobjioe." _This is the menu, Mrs. Box Ghost._

"So what if the Box Ghost and I had a kid? I see no reason to be hassled so much about it, honey."

It's gross.

"I'll tell you what's gross." Lunch Lady grows and meat starts flying around her. "THERE'S NO MEAT ON THIS MENU!"

What? Octo-Duds!

"Ugneiobjj" _You asked for it._

"MEAT IS IMPORTANT FOR ALL GROWING GIRLS AND BOYS!"

"YEAH. Shall we?" Box Ghost looks at Box Lunch.

"I'd be honored, Dad." Box Lunch agrees.

Together, yelling, "BEEEEWAAAAAAAARE!"

Well, this is just great. You know, I probably should have seen this coming.

"Yes, you should have." Another Rebecca Navok comes up, but with a deeper voice.

Not now Amorpho. It's the end of the interview.

"I'll end it when I want to."

You're not the fabulous hostess.

"Yes I am!"

NO, you're not. You know what, let's continue this discussion backstage.

"And by discussion, you mean you're going to leave me here to be the punching bag for Lunch Lady, Box Ghost, and Box Lunch?"

It's like you're me. Keep working at it. It's hard to reach the perfection that I am. (Disappears through the door. The Box and Lunch family turn on Amorpho/Rebecca.)

"This is bad. I'm going to leave now. But be warned, Navok. You won't know it's me until it's too late."

**Yeah right. You're not taking over my interview. Hey! It's like I have an arch enemy! Cool! That's, like, so totally awesome! Now, just for good measure, I'll scream his name to nobody in particular for dramatic effect. AMORPHOOOOOoooo!**

**Okay, so I want to thank you all for reading and reviewing! I'm getting to everyone's requests, but, please, feel free to comment and suggest and stuff. Don't forget, I have the ability to revisit anybody at any time. Also, discussions about how awesome a hostess I am is always welcome. Til next time 8D**


	7. Paulina

**I, Rebecca Navok, do not own (I wish I did, though) the awesomeness that is Danny Phantom. And, dare I say it…Okay, spoiler alert!...Yay! The alarm didn't go off! Hooray! Oh, and before I forget. The stuff in the parentheses are my thoughts. Scary, huh?**

Anyway, do you guys remember my once idle tutu threat? It started with Walker, was mentioned with Dash, and then disappeared for the lunch combo? Well, that's because I had the Octo-Duds order a hundred boxes of frilly, pink tutus!

"Giebnejgjbnj"_ The worst part is that it came out of our paycheck._

Oh, quit your unintelligible grumbling. So, why would I do such a thing? Well, I got one of the backup characters from Danny Phantom to come in!

"Hey! Who are you calling backup! I'm beautiful!"

Ladies and gentlemen, please say hello to Paulina…What's your last name?

"Excuse me?"

Well, it's just that I'm not sure if you even have a last name.

"I do so have a last name!"

Then how come no one knows what it is?

"People know what it is."

Why are you avoiding the question? That means you don't have a last name! Ha! I didn't think that was possible!

"Well, fan bases all agree that my name is Paulina Sanchez."

Fan bases! What fans? You're shallow and possessive.

"But I'm more popular than you, honey."

Yeah. Let me repeat. SHALLOW and possessive. **SHALLOW! **and possessive. Do I need to say it a fourth time? Now, what is your last name.

" *whisper whisper*"

I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you.

"Espinillas."

The text was too small. Can you please repeat it in twelve font?

"Espinillas."

Oh, that doesn't sound too bad. Actually, I figured it would be something in Spanish, so guess what I brought?

"Oh no. Please don't tell me that's what I think it is!"

Sorry. Can't do that. It's a Spanish to English dictionary! That's right. I come prepared to work. That's a warning to all you ghosts and people who think you can take advantage of my cuteness!

"Geibnneiejbiej!" _There's nothing cute about it. It's just you trying to be annoying._

Hey, Octo-Duds. First off, no one asked you. Secondly, why do all your sentences start with the letter G? Shouldn't start with O or something?

"Gbjiebkdnbkjkjow." _We start with G's because we don't like you._

That sounded rude. You know, Octo-Duds, I could make you wear those lovely tutus in the back.

"Oooh! Did you say tutus? I love tutus!"

Wait…You love them? NOOOO! Well, that was a waste. Now what am I gonna do with all those boxes of tutus?

"Geibnijbijijbjkjl" _Actually, we just checked. We accidentally bought a hundred boxes of black eyeliner._

What? Why on earth would you buy a hundred crates of eyeliner? How can you confuse cute, frilly tutus with black eyeliner? What, did Sam hack the system again?

"Gjiekbjndkjjj…"_ It was Tucker this time…_

Tucker? Well that makes even less sense.

"Black eyeliner? Oh, that's for ugly goth girls."

What did you say? (My interest has been peaked)

"Eye liner. Pretty girls like me don't need things like that."

Well, that's a nasty generalization. (I've got a nastier plan for you, though…hee, hee, hee.) So, Paulina, do you remember that peppy therapist who came to Casper High during Spirit Week? Penelope Spectra?

"Oh yeah. She had a horrible makeup problem."

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you were the one at the makeup counter after her sessions.

"I don't know what got into me. I'm so pretty and popular. I'm the three P's.

Three P's?

"Pretty, Popular, Paulina!"

Is that what you tell yourself every morning when you look in the mirror.

"Yep."

…Wooow. Somewhat's either blatantly honest or totally clueless. Anyway, there was a mention of a mole during that time…

"No! I'm perfect! I don't have moles. Tee hee."

(Ha! She's laughing nervously! I love my job.) So, you don't have a mole.

"Nope. I'm perfectly Paulina."

Okay, before we continue, you've got to stop calling yourself perfect. It adds to your shallowness.

"I am not shallow! I'm just not deep either."

Yeah, and we'll get into that later if I remember. Because I totally care about your personal problem. Hey, I've got another three P's! Plethora Problems Paulina! Back to what we were discussing about, where's the mole. We all know you have one.

"Like I'd tell you that. Why am I even here?"

Because I decided that you should be. I'm that powerful! Spooked yet?

"I've seen scarier things."

I get the feeling I'm losing my focus. Now, stop evading the question, or else I will make you wear the black eyeliner!

"Fine, fine. But no one's going to hear about this, right?"

Oh, yeah. No one except you, me, and that wall over there. Octo-Duds, leave us!

"Gnbiej!" _Gladly!_

Now no one will hear about it. (Not!)

"Okay. You know how I never wear shorts?"

Yeah, you wear those things that are longer than shorts, shorter than pants. Capris, I think. I'm not a fashion-ista like someone in the room.

"Aw! Thank you! Okay, so it's on me knee."

And just how large is this mole? I want exact digits here.

"Why would you want to know that? You're weirder than Goth-girl Manson!...3 inches."

Wow. That is big. Ha! Oh, and thank you for the compliment.

"What compliment. I don't compliment anyone except the ghost-boy, Inviso-Bill."

There are so many things wrong with that sentence, I'm just going to overlook it. Actually, I'm not! Had you fooled there, didn't I? Okay, so you've never complimented anyone?

"Nope! I pride myself on that!"

Well, what about your parents?

"I don't talk in my house. No. I only compliment objects."

…You are the most confusing guest I have had thus far. Seriously, it's like your ego is actually leaving me speechless. Me! What's happening?

"Oh, stop shouting."

Okay, fine. But you do know that the ghost-boy hasn't been called Inviso-Bill since he announced to the world that his name was Danny Phantom. He even Has a big D with a P inside. What did you think that stood for?

"The D is his heart, and the P is Paulina. I'm in his heart!"

Yeah, and apparently, he's in your locker.

"Not just my locker. He's in my room and my closet and I sewed him to the back side of all my shirts!"

You know, in obsessions, I think you take the cake. In shallowness, you get the deep end of the pool in the hopes that you will some day become a better person.

"I'm perfect, though. And I'm not shallow!"

Paulina! Oh, my gosh! Is that a wrinkle?

"What?"

It's right over there. You know, wrinkles can start as early as the age of thirty.

"No! I don't have any wrinkles."

Uh-huh. Just like you don't have any moles.

"No! This is not happening!"

Yay! She ran out of the room. So, boy and girls, what have we learned today?...That's right! Popularity is sooo overrated.

"No it isn't. Being popular's great."

Hey, get back out of the room! You left, that means you don't come back.

"Don't listen to this girl. She's just jealous of me like everyone else."

I am not! Will you just go?

**Whew! She left! That was not fun. It was fun-ny! Ha! See the pun? Punny right? Should I stop? Probably, but you know I won't! I hope you guys liked it! Please review and comment, because I do what you guys want me to. In this FanFiction! Feel free to suggest, and I'm willing to revisit past guests. Because I can. And I will! Anyway, I hope you had an awesome time! Review! PLEASE!**


	8. Valerie Gray

**I'm baaaack! Sorry it took so long, but I've returned, and there's more good news to come. Now, I do regret to say that I still do not own the Phantom Daniel, but it is reality, and reality can sometimes be sad. Also, spoilers run rampant here. *P.S. I'm trying this new thing (I do that a lot, don't I? Last one, pinky swear). I need you guys to tell me what you think, because I understand that my usual style is confusing…even to me!**

"So, why did it take so long for me to update?" I said, casually entering the room. "Well, usually, I would blame the ecto-pusses, but alas, those days are over. No, I was encouraged to see a psychiatrist about my anger problems by the interviewed parties. Now, I know that being kind, sweet, soft, and gentle shall be the best means with which to accomplish my task of hostess/interviewer."

"We're so proud. We hope this keeps up forever and ever and ever!" The ecto-pusses blew into their very own ecto-wipey, specially made by mwah!

"Yes, due to my change of heart, the ecto-pusses have miraculously learned to speak perfect English! Isn't that just dandy?"

The ecto-pi stopped crying. "Dandy? DANDY? Oh no. We have to get her back!"

"Nonsense, ecto-pi, my dears." I patted them on the back, a big, out-of-place smile on my face. "I have accepted my new personality change, and I believe it to be fore the better. Now, another reason for the lengthy time between updates. I have booked the next two interviews after this. And, for all those interested, I've got something big planned for the tenth chapter. Aah, how I shall enjoy it! Now, please applaud for my next guest, Valerie Gray!"

"What's up, people!" Valerie entered the room. She wore her normal, high school clothing, but I was still wearing and ecto-blast proof suit…just in case.

"The ceiling, Valerie. The ceiling is up." I responded obliviously.

"…You do know that that's figurative, right?"

"Of course, of course. Now, dear Valerie-"

"Hold it, hold it! Did you just say dear?"

"Why, yes. What else could I have said? Oooh, unless you mean, like, the deer in the forest…"

"No, no, never mind. Just go on."

"Thank you for the invitation. It's greatly appreciated."

"Ugh! When will this end?" the ecto-pi groaned in the background. Then a diabolical smile formed on their lips. Trying to be inconspicuous, they left the room, whistling "Zip-i-dee-doo-dah!".

"Anyway," I said, keeping my new-found patience, "Valerie, was it fun to be in the ghost-hunting business?"

"Of course," Valerie said. For some reason, she was looking over my shoulder. I turned, but there was nothing there. "I mean, who doesn't want to fly on a hoverboard and throw anti-ghost bombs? It's the bomb!"

"Uh-huh. About that. Not to be offensive, but isn't that remarkably similar to the Green Goblin?"

Valerie paused. "Excuse me?"

"What I mean, and I'm saying this in the nicest way possible, is that you and the Green Goblin share many characteristics."

"His suit was green. Mine was red. I see the resemblance." Eye rolling. I shrugged it off.

"I don't mean those kind of characteristics, honey. I'm talking about you two being anti-heroes!"

"You know, this is sort of not making me feel like answering any questions."

"Please, let me continue!" I begged. Valerie waved her hand. "Spider-man and Danny Phantom. Both heroes, both with their name as the title for their media production. Now, Spider-Man is very good friends with the Green Goblin's alias, Norman Osborn. Now, you and Fenton were good friends, but, like Spidey and GG, you fought with super powers. Also, you have the hoverboard and the bombs, just like you aforementioned." I nodded. My reasoning was sound. Plus, I had said it so kindly!

"Okay, okay. So there are some differences. But, we were never in a movie in the theaters! Ha!"

"Give it ten years. Hollywood is losing its ingenuity. Next question. Why did your voice change?"

"Excuse me? Are you talking about puberty?"

"No. NO! We do not go into that in this random, hilarious, and dare I say it? Spectacular interview! WHAT THE-" All of the sudden, I felt cold, ice cold water, running down my back and all around me. I turned around to see the Octo-Duds. "You two! Oh, I should totally fire you for this, but my only other option is the Dairy King, and we all know how Gouda that went!"

"Gouda? Haven't you been using that pun since, like the first interview?"

"No! I used it on the second interview! And that's not the point. The point is that these two duds of ectopusses dumped ice-cold water on me! Probably from Frostbite, too!"

"Gejobiejibjoij!" _You probably don't even know the name of his world!_

"Oh, so now you can't speak English. Very convenient, Duds-O'-Octo. Very convenient. Besides, you never gave me notes on that, so of course I didn't cram for that interview. Yet, anyway." I wasn't about to go into too much more detail on that subject. I looked back at Valerie. "Anyway, back to the question. Didn't your voice change when you made the switch from background character to arch-villain?"

"Why do you keep calling me a villain? It's not like I'm evil or something!"

"Yeah," I responded, rolling my eyes. "But, you did only go after Danny Phantom because you had a grudge against him because a dog supposedly belonging to him got your dad fired or whatever…Actually, now that I think about it, you kinda got in the way of all that. If you had just laid off, you wouldn't have gotten your powers, and you and Danny could be dating!"

"Oh, please, like I'd want to date him." But, my all-seeing eyes caught a slight blush.

"My all-seeing eyes catch a little blush there, Val."

"Val? You have not acted friendly to me yet, so you get the privilege of calling me only by my first name. Valerie."

I detected a note of sarcasm, but who cares when your being so nicely complimented. "Good to know that I still get all the privileges around here. Now, your voice change. You know, the more you talk, the more familiar you sound…"

"What are you going on about now, Navok?"

"Okay, first off, what is up with you and all those other background characters using last names only? Isn't it easier to use first names? You know, the ones on books, used every day, and all that?"

Valerie sucked on her lip. "Last names are for the people we know, but don't care to talk to on first-name basis."

"And here everybody thought you had gotten over the popular thing!"

"I have! Those jerks cared only about skill and money. Evidently, I had neither after the Phantom incident."

"Aaah, I see," I taunted. I love taunting. Taunting makes the world go round. "You haven't gotten over that either! There's a TV series on this, and you still haven't seen the awesomeness that is Phantom-Fever!"

"Oh, please. At the end, didn't you see me let him go? I got over it!"

"And Vlad! Wasn't that one a little obvious?"

"Excuse me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Vlad Masters being Vlad Plasmius. You know, I think what everybody's problem is that by only using last names, they forget the first name, and then the obviousness of the alter-ego is lost upon them."

"You sure like making everyone seem like idiots, don't you?"

"Not only do I like it, but you guys make it super easy for me." I giggled. Along with taunting, a good giggle goes a long way.

"You know what, I think I'm leaving!"

"Wait, Was!"

"What?"

"Was!"

"Huh?"

"What is this, alliteration time?" I grumbled. "Was was the name on the ring that Danny was going to give you. Don't you think you should have taken it instead of going after Phantom. Again."

"I'm a different person from then. It's not like every five minutes, I go chasing after Danny Phantom. Especially not now!"

"It's only been four minutes and ten seconds. We'll just see."

"Uh-huh. Sure, Abigail."

"Okay, now it's my turn," I said. "Who's Abigail?"

Valerie's eyes bulged. "I-I meant Rebecca!"

My eyes brightened. "I figured it out! You are from Kids Next Door! You were Numbuh 5's sister, Cree! And Numbuh 5. And weren't you in Rugrats, too?"

"Listen, I have somewhere I gotta be!"

All of the sudden, Danny Phantom came into the room. Evidently, he had been invisible. There was the shriek of millions of fangirls. Actually, there was the sound of millions of fangirls, all coming from me. "Danny Phantom!"

He smiled nervously. Valerie straightened in her seat. "You're not getting away, Phantom!" A red suit came over her, and she broke the ceiling on her way up. Seriously, she had to break the ceiling? Do these people know how much repairs cost.

I checked my watch. "Five minutes." I smiled.

**All righty. That's the interview. Please review. Also, I don't own KND or Rugrats, and they have pretty much nothing to do with Danny Phantom, other than the fact that the lady voices all those people aforementioned. Now, I've gotta go dry off. Review! And don't forget to suggest people. I still want to know who you think I should do next! Until next time, I've got to go find the Duds.**


	9. Dan Phantom

**Hello, hello, hello again! I'm back, and this time, I'm risking my neck and skin to get an interview out for you. But, before we get to that, let me reiterate the reason for this bold print. I do not, do not, do not own Danny Phantom. Yep, I used a triple negative. Let's face it, how many of us would write FanFictions about Danny Phantom if we did own him? Also, I might want to add that there are a few spoilers lurking here and there. Most of them like to hang around my surplus of tutus and eyeliner, but, hey. It's a preference.**

Anyway, you're wondering why I'm risking so much? Well, the ecto-duds over there decided that it would be so whoop-dee-doo funny if they invited one of the nastiest, evilest, yet somehow greatest villain in DP history. And guess what? They took away all my weapons and devices! I'm like defenseless!

"Gehbijeojiobjoej!" _Not to mention the fact that you're saying all this in front of your guest._

Oh, wait, did I just say that aloud. I was joking, Dan, just joking.

"Yeah. Right."

Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, please give a round of applause to our ninth interviewee, Dan Phantom!

…

…

…

"I don't hear any applause."

Whoah! Whoops. *Pulls out button and presses it. Two animatronics pop up and start applauding erratically* There, is that better?

"You're kidding right? Fake audiences? What, it's not like you have a budget problem."

Hey, you're the villain who would have defeated Danny if you weren't so cocky. I'm not taking my chances with you.

"Yeah, but you're the cocky one. I've seen your interviews. Your supposed to insult and degrade me." *Evil smile* "Are you scared?"

Of you! Pfff! I'm scared of nobody. Look, the truth of the matter is that you're a loose cannon. I don't want that kind of liability on my hands.

"Did you just call me a liability?"

No…uh, I…uh…called you a Shy-can-ility! Yeah! A shy-can-ility.

"What the heck is a shy-can-ility? That's a made up word if I've ever heard one."

No, no. It's like . It's a word with many meanings.

"You know, I'd contradict that, but I really don't feel like saying that huge word and forcing your ecto-duds over there to type it down."

"Gejobjoiejojbijejoijeoj!" _Hey, only Rebecca gets to call us Ecto-Duds! And we have eight arms. We don't need your fake sympathy._

"You'll take what I give you, ecto-boys, if you know what's good for you."

"JIOjioj!" _Yessir!_

Oh great! You don't start your sentences with the letter G for him? You can't possibly like him more than me.

"What can I say? I'm a very personable person."

Hmm. You know, I like your style. If you weren't a villain, I might want to take tips from you.

"Why sure."

So, to get this straight, you are allowing me, Rebecca Navok, to take tips from you? And you won't interfere or anything?

"Yeah, sure, why not?"

All right. Just making sure. You got that, duddies?

"Geoijoj." _Sure did. Hee hee hee._

I'll take that as a yes. Anyway, let's actually start asking questions. You ever notice that I always start the actual interviewing a ways into the FanFiction?

"Are you asking me that?"

No! Gosh, just stay in your seat, right there, and only open and close your mouth.

"Do you not know who you're dealing with?"

I know perfectly well who I'm dealing with, and those red eyes are kind of creeping me out. Could you, like, blink every five seconds like a normal person.

"I'm not a person."

Don't undermine my metaphors.

"I'm pretty sure that wasn't a metaphor. Seemed more like an analogy to me."

Oh, ha ha. You're hilarious…That was sarcasm, by the way.

"Yes, I know what sarcasm is. You mind asking me the first degrading question?"

Finally! All right. Did you have a secret crush on either Sam or Valerie?

"You want me to pick?"

Yeah.

"Really?"

Yeah…I asked the question. It needs an answer. You signed a contract. Yeah, I made you sign a contract. Now, blink, before I give you sunglasses or something. You're like one of those dolls that just keep looking at you and looking at you and looki-

"I guess I like Val more. I mean, Sam died before I was created, so guess what, all those pairing out there. I didn't get time to know her! Now, Valerie, she was there. And she was protecting the city. Sure, we were enemies, but you have to have respect for your enemy, if you know what I'm saying."

Not really. I personally think that either way, you should have liked Sam.

"Why?"

Well, because your younger self liked Sam.

"I thought it was kind of obvious, but I'm like the opposite of my younger self. I have blue skin and firey hair for crying out loud!"

All right. Next question. Could you take the CAT today and pass?

"What has that got to do with anything?"

Better guests than you have asked that question, and they never got an answer. Listen, you're the last guest before my tenth special, so can you just get to the point?

"Oh, so I'm not important enough to be in your tenth special?"

To be honest, yeah. I got something better planned.

"So I'm not allowed in?"

Nah, you can come in and watch. You just can't interrupt.

"Okay, let me answer your original question with a response to that. Going is to me as interview is to tenth."

Que?

"I'm going whether you like it or not?"

Oooooh! I get it. You used one of those thingees to make a-oh! Very smart. I've gotta give you props!

"Yes, yes you do."

Now, next. If you had the opportunity right now, would you try to destroy Danny Fenton's life?

"Well, I guess I should say that there's no point to that, seeing how I exist outside of time now, but to be honest, I'm in the process of destroying everthing Fenton built up right now."

What?

"Well, you see, I sent out one of my clones, and he's doing everything perfectly."

You do know what this means, don't you?

"Huh?"

I've got to stop you! Rebecca to the rescue!

"Oh, yeah! And what are you going to do?"

Have you ever heard of a slight of hand.

"Yeah. It's when you're really quick with cards and stuff."

Yep. And the "and stuff" happens to be your tips. You know, the ones you make from being a supervillain.

"Wait! You were serious!"

Serious as a heart attack. Now, you can't do anything due to your code of honor as mentioned in the contract.

"How did you get me to sign that."

I had my hamster army make you in your sleep. Now, buh bye.

"I'll be back you know."

I don't care, you know! Fin

**All right. I hope you guys liked it. Guess what? Along with people and revisiting suggestions, I'm now wondering if you guys have actual questions. I try to research Danny Phantom, and by research I mean watching it on Netflix, hee hee hee, and come up with decent interviews, but I don't doubt the power of imagination of other people. Not that I, Rebecca, have a lack of imagination, but you guys probably have awesome questions to ask to! So, please, review! And I'll work on a very special tenth chapter. See ya!**


	10. Tenth Chapter Special! WHOOOO!

**It's the big 10****th**** chapter special! Whoo hoo! I made it to ten chapters! Now, this one will be reallllllllllly long, somewhere around 5,000 words, so please, enjoy the comedy that is most definitely funny, and don't forget to laugh. LAUGH! And before I get, this whole story is prone to spoilers, so please be alert to the fact that side effects of reading this include: shock, spit-takes, ruinings of the end of the show, the dismal reality that I don't own Danny Phantom, choking on laughter, rolling eyes that may never stop…anything else?**

"**Giebjiejojboijeoj!" **_**Just get on with it!**_

**Oh, and annoyance and extreme impatience. Other than that, enjoy!**

_What Really Happened at the End of Dan Phantom's Interview_

"I'll be back, you know!"

I don't care, you know! Fin.

"Wait, it's not fin! What, you've barely asked me two questions in this entire interview! You've accomplished close to nothing!"

No, I got your tips! I'm filthy stinkin' rich now! Thank you!

"You're not welcome. So, what, you seriously think you pull that kind of interview and your readers will let you get away with it?"

It hasn't been a problem thus far…

"Ecto-Duds, read back that interview to me, now."

You can't tell my duds what to do! Not with more force than me!

"I just did."

All right, fine. Read it back, duddies!

"Gijijbieoojgjoj!" _They're like a match made in heaven, aren't they?_

_Five minutes later, after reading the interview…_

"You see that, Becky? It sounds nothing like me! It's like you pried the most boring answer out of me or something!"

I wouldn't say that (hiding the Answer-Pryer-Inator behind her back) So, what would you suggest?

"I want to conduct the interviews from now on!"

WHAT?

"Are you deaf or something? Do I have to use my ghostly wail?"

You couldn't possibly even hope to reach the standards of my awesomeness as a hostess!

"I could. I'm from the future, remember? There's no you from where I came from."

(A little light bulb goes off in my head. I quickly grab it and hide it behind my back with the Answer-Pryer-Inator. Geez, my back is getting full!) So, how did you manage to get here, anywhoos?

"Oh, so your army of hamsters didn't get me here when they made me sign that contract?"

No, that was just my sad attempt at being incredibly cute and hilarious at the same time. *Giggle giggle*

"…It didn't work."

HEY!

"Well, to put it simply, the Observers are really lazy."

Uh-huh, uh-huh. Please, I'm riveted. Continue, continue. I'm just going to stretch my legs…

"Yeah, so then, when I bashed against the thermos Fenton-"

Fenton thermos.

"Yes, Fenton thermos-"

HI-YAH!

*Dan Phantom's form flickers, and Amorpho shows up in his place, a voice changer attached to his mouth by a mask* "What are you doing you ugly little girl?"

Ugly? Little! The only ugly, little person here is you, Armando!

"Who's Armando supposed to be?"

Sorry, I've just always wanted my arch-nemesis to be called Armando. You're Amorpho. It fits!

"It doesn't!"

Just put your mask on! This is the second interview you ruined! And what's worse, I've already published it!

"Why would you publish it when we weren't even done? That's mischaracterization!"

No, it's just that sometimes I get bored and don't feel like listening to my guests rambling on and on about their lives, so I just tune them out and publish the interesting parts. I thought the interesting part would be over by then, so…

"You see! This is exactly why I'm going to take over this interview story!"

Not as long as you have such hollow disguises! I mean, seriously! You ruined my ninth chapter special. Ugh.

"Ugh. Is that even a word?"

My spellcheck isn't going off, so yes. Ugh is a word. Probably an interjection, which expresses strong emotions. Other examples include wow, oh, and geez, which make up my four favorite words of the English language.

"You know what? I'm leaving. I didn't come here for a language lesson. And, honestly, interjections sound more like needles than actual words."

But you did learn a lesson. You can't fool this beaUtiful host.

"I'd beg to differ. On two points. First off, I did fool you. For a whole chapter's worth. Secondly, you're not that beautiful." *Goes transparent and flies away*

Yeah, you'd better run! Just remember that when I edit this together, I'm going to make YOU look like the fool!

"." _We already typed this whole thing, exactly the way it is, and put it to publish with the rest of the tenth chapter special._

WHAT!

_A Half-a-Dozen Ghosts Come Knocking_

Duddies, what's up with the title? What do you mean half-a-dozen ghosts come knocking? I'm not even ready for the next interview. Not after what happened with Amorpho.

"Gojeoiiji!" _Hey, we warned you about this last week! Don't blame us!_

I will blame you, Duddies! I'm not supposed to be in any real danger!

"Gion." _Whoops. Not._

Ooooh, Duddies! Why do I even put up with you?

"Gioej!" _Because you love us!_

What? Wow, three what's in one chapter. That must be a record.

"…Giejojboijeoj." _You have the shortest attention span we've ever seen, and that's saying something._

(Something knocks on the studio door.) Ooh, I wonder who it could be? I'll get it!

"Goejobjllkjoio?"_ Did she seriously just forget what the title of this section is? It's like one of those movies. It's called When a Stranger Calls? Who do you really think is calling, your brother, Bob?_

La da dee! La da doo! Skip, skip, skip. I'm opening the door, Duddies!

(Ectopi run and hide in the closet.)

Hey, what are you doing, Duddies. We have guests-Whoah my gosh!

"Hey. You're going to have to change your format for this one. We all want interviews. All six of us."

What? Six of you? No. I will not change my format. It's been tried and proven…What's your name, anyway?

"You don't remember me?"

Nopity nope nope.

"Well then, let us introduce ourselves. I'm Hotep-Ra."

"I'm Pariah Dark."

"Prince Aragon."

"…"

"Lydia."

"Klemper. Hiya!"

All right, all right. Yes, I'll change the format. I'm confused all ready, and I'm the interviewer.

Hotep-Ra: Thank you very much.

Moi: So, you're telling me that you have three kings in your group, one the king of all ghosts, and you got the one wearing toilet paper as your spokesperson?

All: Hey!

Moi: And you have Shadow, who really doesn't have a name. I'm not even sure if he can talk.

Shadow: …

Moi: So, what are you all here for?

Lydia: We want blood!

Moi: Eeeew! XP

Prince Aragon: And interviews.

Pariah Dark: You have to give all of us the best interviews of your life, or else we'll get the former request.

Moi: So, now, instead of being ghosts and rocking my socks, you've decided to lower yourselves to the ranks of vampires? That makes no sense!

Klemper: Will you be my friend?

Moi: And why is Klemper in your group? Isn't he friendly? You don't want my blood, do you Klemper?

Klemper: Maybe.

Moi: …

Pariah Dark: He can be mean if he wants to. Now, I command you to interview us immediately.

Moi: All at once?

All: All at once!

Moi: All right. Let's start with Hotep-Ra.

All but Hotep-Ra: What?

Moi: Whoop, there's lucky number four!

Pariah Dark: Why him? I could destroy you just as easily, and ten times more painfully!

Moi: Um, that's a very convincing argument, Mariah-

Pariah Dark: _Pariah_.

Moi: You see, this is why you're called pariah in the first place. You're no fun.

Prince Aragon: What does pariah mean, anyway?

Moi: You know, at first, I thought it meant a clown or something that's funny to watch. I mean, he's wearing make-up! It just makes sense!

Everyone laughs except Pariah.

Pariah Dark: You're pushing it, girl.

Moi: You do realize that's my goal in life? Or at least in my job?

Pariah: Apparently, your goal is also to lose your blood.

Moi: That was creepier the first two times. Anyway, Aragon, to answer your first question, pariah means outcast, or someone to be avoided.

Hotep-Ra: I couldn't help but notice, but your interviews always have some sort of educational fact. What is this, a 1990s show?

Moi: You would know, wouldn't you, Hotep-Ra. Now, onto my first question for you, Ra boy.

Hotep-Ra: (looks at other villains) Why did we want an interview in the first place again?

Klemper: Because it's fun! Me and Becky are going to be best friends!

All groan, including the magnificent hostess.

Prince Aragon: Why is it that you're the only one being complimented in the little text describing our actions?

And the just, handsome prince, who will forever be known as El Guapo!

El Guapo: Disregard what I said before.

That "El Guapo" statement is now null-and-void.

Hotep-Ra: Weren't you going to ask me a question?

Moi: Yes. Does it bother you to be wrapped in toilet paper for the remainder of you afterlife?

Hotep-Ra: …I want another question!

Moi: No, what you want to do is take over somebody's body or mind or whatever and rule the world, because that's just the way you are.

Lydia: That's pretty much the way we all are, except for Klemper.

Moi: Not so fast, Lydia. I've been watching my fair share of Danny Phantom recently, and I've noticed that you are really more of a minion. Aragon is more of a minor threat than anything, and he just wants power. He'd be happy if he was just the manager of Wal-Mart.

Prince Aragon: What can I say? It's true.

Moi: But you wouldn't last a day because you'd burn the place down with your fire and bad temper.

Prince Aragon: Hey!

Moi: Pariah Dark can barely be considered a major villain, since he was only in one episode, but that lasted an hour, so let's just give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he was worth two episodes.

Pariah Dark: I would've come back if the show hadn't been cancelled.

Moi: And all of you are pouting. What kind of villains are you! What, do you only read the scripts in Danny Phantom, or are you actually mean?

Villains in a Meek tone: We're mean.

Moi: I asked you if you were mean!

Yelling: Mean!

Moi: I can't hear you!

Growling and Yelling: We are! We're mean!

Moi: Ha! I took a video with my phone! This is so going up on YouTube!

All: What?

Moi: Wow. Five in one chapter. Let's see if we can get to ten!

All: What?

Moi: Six.

Lydia: You can't be serious! I'm talking more now than ever before, and you're really going to use that against me?

Moi: Yepidee doo dah!

Klemper: But we're still friends, right?

Moi: At the risk of being pummeled, no. I try not to have that kind of relationship with my guests. It would make for difficulties later on.

Octo-Duds: Gbneppjbmmmom! _The real question is who would want to be friends with her…_

Moi: Duddies, I can read the italicized text.

Octo-Duds: Gmombomo?_ Since when?_

Moi: Since I decided that it would be beneficial for me to actually listen to what you're saying. Plus, it's easier for me to see it in this format.

Octo-Duds (whisper): Gmbom._ At least it won't be like this forever._

Moi: We can talk about that later, Duddies. And you know we will.

Octo-Duds: Ugh.

Moi: Now that translates into every language! Anyway, Lydia, did you have those tattoos before you passed, or did you just decided to get living things to put on your body and use as a weapon.

Lydia: Both…

Moi: Interesting. Interesting. And were they your design?

Lydia: Yes. Some of them were inspired by FreakShow, though.

Moi: Does FreakShow have a real name?

Lydia: Why don't you ask him when you get him for an interview?

Moi: I'd rather hear it now.

Lydia: I'm not sure he'd like it if I told you.

Moi: Come on. Between girls?

Lydia: We're in a room full of boys. How is it between girls?

Moi: Because these boys are idiots!

Boys: Hey!

Moi: Aw, you didn't say what!

Lydia: You said they were idiots pretty cheerfully.

Moi: I'm always happy to tell the truth.

All the boys: What?

Moi: Wow. That's like four in this one interview, making a grand total of…seven!

Klemper: You're good at counting, friend.

Moi: Klemper, since you were so kind as to speak up, the next question is for you.

Klemper: Yay!

Pariah Dark: At this point, it isn't a compliment.

Moi: Hey, I'm just doing my job. It was either this or blood, remember?

Hotep-ra: And we've regretted it ever since.

Moi: That's the spirit! Now, Klemper, what stirs your need for companionship!

Klemper: I like my friends!

Moi: Yes, but their must be some deeper emotion inside of you, urging you to constantly ask for this attention.

Lydia: Sometimes, it's better not to know things. It's the innocent ones that can scare you the most.

Klemper: No. This is something I must say! I'm coming out of my shell today.

Moi: Awesome! This is better than reality television!

Prince Aragon: Everything is better than reality television.

Moi: I know!

Klemper: I once had-

Moi: Yes…

Klemper: a-

All: YES…

Klemper: a little fishy!

All: Uggggggghhhhhhh!

Klemper: He was my best friend, but then he went away! I couldn't find him anywhere. So then, I blamed the world!

Moi: Now that's more like it!

Klemper: By trying to befriend everyone, hero to villain alike, one day, I will form an unbreakable, undefeatable alliance, and together, my friend and I will take over the world.

Moi: Wow. Deep. Deeper than anyone expected prior to this interview. Now, did I miss anybody?

Pariah Dark: You didn't really ask me a question. But you don't have to. At this point, it would be a mercy to everyone if we all just worked and cancelled you right now.

Moi: Now, don't say that. I have an audience of readers that love me!

Readers (who somehow popped out of nowhere): Not really. We tolerate you at least.

Moi: Hey! I don't force you to read…But I could.

Readers leave, barely concealing the giggles trying to escape them. Yes, I know I make you laugh. You don't have to hide it. :)

Moi: So, Pariah, did your parents name you that, is that an alias, or what? I mean, as a kid growing up, that could've been the thing that caused you to be a villain ghost thing.

Pariah: No, my name wasn't Pariah Dark as a child. I had a noble name. A name that inspired fear and respect.

Moi: What was it? Marion?

Pariah: No man other than a Disney character is actually named Marion.

Moi: That's a pretty strong, certain sentence. I'll say that it's a wonderful name. I think it brings out the inner man. Speaking of which, what was your name?

Pariah: Bob.

Moi: Bob, the builder. Can we fix it? Bob the builder-

Pariah: NO YOU CAN'T!

Moi: Hey, I was just rying to be-

Pariah: annoying? Yes, you are.

Moi: Shadow, you've been hanging back. Can you actually speak?

Shadow:…

Moi: You're not plan anything devious are you?

Shadow: …

Moi: moronsaysnothing!

Shadow:…

Moi: And there you have it, folks!

Prince Aragon: That wasn't very nice.

Moi: Are you affiliated in any way to Lord of the Rings?

Prince Aragon: What? No!

Moi: Hmmm, that one doesn't count, since you didn't say it alone with no other words in the line.

Prince Aragon: You're taking this too seriously.

Moi: All right, guys. I asked each of you a question. Now scoot. I'm done with you. I need a break, and there are cakes and cookies in the back room set aside for me and me alone…Duddies.

Hotep-Ra: Hey, you didn't ask me a question! That means you're cancelled. Heh, heh, heh.

Moi: Actually, I did, toilet-Ra. You chose not to answer.

Hotep-Ra: Nuh-uh.

Moi: All right. Let me take you on a magical journey to a few lines ago…Ta dah!

Hotep-Ra: Oh. Aww, I was actually looking forward to putting an end to you

Moi: Maybe next time, Ra boy. NOT! You guys came here, you know the exit. No go! GO! Mama wants her cake!

_Oh my, oh dear! Oh my gosh! I'm interviewing him! I'm so happy! Nothing in the world could ever replace the joy I feel at this exact moment! I'm ssooooooo happy! I don't even care about that sooooo typo because I'm so happy! I don't even care that I'm ranting like there's no tomorrow! Oh my-_

"_Goeijboj!" Shut up!_

_Geez, aren't we violent today?_

"Gobjembjoemmo." _You inspire everyone on this show to a heightened sense of violent._

Aww, man. We switched the format back! How am I supposed to figure out what you're saying?

"…" …

Anyway, nothing you Duddies can say will put a damper on my mood. Because, right here, right now, I have the one, the only,

DANNY PHANTOM!

"Wow. This is pretty cool. It's an actual studio and everything."

Oh, Danny! You're too kind!

"Umm…thanks?"

You're so, so, so, so, so welcome! Tee hee hee!

"Yeah. Anyway, they told me that you were Rebecca, and that if I wanted to get interviewed, it should be with you. Well, here I am."

Well, whomever told you that told you right, Danny. I just really wished that Danny Fenton could be here too. I mean, you two were really good friends during the series right?

"I thought I saw somewhere, well you said, anyway, that you actually watched the show."

Oh, I did. I did. It was so fascinating. But, really, I told my Duddies over there that they should book the two of you together. It would make for a much more interesting interview.

(Ecto-pi shrug, looping their tentacles and spinning them around their heads in the universal sign of, "She's crazy"…I'll get them for that XP)

"Umm, okay." (Danny changes into his human form.) "See?"

Huh? Oh, sorry. I blinked.

"What? How could you just blink? It takes at least ten seconds for me to change! What were you, napping?"

Hey, Phantom. What I do or don't do with my eyes is completely up to me! Moi! Capeche?

(Danny goes ghost) "There! Did you see it that time?"

See what?

"What!"

Yay, yay, yay! That's eight, I believe.

"Eight what?"

Exactly. Eight whats!

"…What?"

Nueve!

"You know, I'm just going to walk away…"

NO!

"Why not?"

Because *whimper*, you'd be leaving one of your biggest fans behind without a hug. Don't you at least owe me that?

"I…didn't…think I owed you anything. But sure, I guess."

(Danny hugs me *eep!* and straps of ectoplasmic gel entrap him. I push him into a chair and force him down with metal as well as Fenton gear) Ha! Now you have to stay!

"Did-Did you just trap me? What kind of fangirl are you?"

A smart one. I've captured you, so you gotta answer any question I ask if you want out. And I have A LOT of questions.

"But how? And why the metal?"

Because I'm not an idiot. I know that you change! But, it was all part of my diabolical, cute little plan! You see, you believed me to be an oblivious fool-

"Gbojojoojoj!" _Which you are!_

Thanks for the support, Duddies. Anyway, you let your guard down, and I took that opportunity to defeat you! Hmm, I'm worse than Mariah Dark. And Vlad! Wait until I tell them in their next interviews.

(Pariah Dark appears out of nowhere, which is pretty common, since he is a ghost, after all) "Stop calling me Mariah, Knave!"

Do you even know what a knave is?

"Really, another vocabulary word for the dimwitted Navok?"

Yes. And, because you insulted my lessons, I'll give you two in one.

(Audience, Danny, and Pariah all groan simultaneously)

Hey! I only have so many jokes, and if I decided to reuse a few, so what? It's my fic.

(Audience screaming) "But we're the ones reading it!...And we can all stop reviewing."

Hmmm, well that would just mean. And how could you say no to such a cute face as this?

(Danny yelling) "Hey, Mariah, could you help me out here?"

(Pariah starts to really get angry) "Oh, what, now you too! Is my name going to be changed from here after to Mariah?"

It could be, if I decide that that's in the best interest of your sanity. Anyway, a nave, without the "k", is a hub, or the center of a church. A knave, with the "k", is a manservant. Neither term should be used in this instance, because I am neither a man, a servant, or a center. However, if you want to say that I'm the centerpiece of your lives and you will always remember me and gush about how you met the "Great Rebecca Navok", feel free to do so at your own discretion.

(Pariah Dark moans) "This wasn't worth it. From now on, instead of trying to take of over the ghost and human world, I think I'm going to try to destroy you."

I've heard that one before. Now, shoo, before I remind you why you don't dare try anything now.

(Pariah goes away. Meanwhile, Danny asks) "Why doesn't he try anything now? Last I remember, Mariah Dark was pretty vicious and didn't take orders from anybody.

Well, to put it simply, I found his weakness. You know, other than the coffin and the crown and staff and all that.

"What is it?"

He's allergic to love.

"…Well, that's kind of dumb. But I'll have to remember that one."

Yep. All you gotta do is hug him and he'll start sneezing uncontrollably and turn into a bunny.

"I've really gotta remember that one!"

So, Danny, since you're in ghost form, I'm going to ask you some ghost questions.

"I'll answer you, but you have to release me first."

…Well…you've always been good for your word. Sure, but at the first sign of disobedience, I'll find your secret weakness.

(Rubs arms where metal and plasma were) "Thanks. Now, what did you want to ask me?"

Eeeeh! All right. First question. Do you have to constantly be thinking, fly, fly, fly, fly in order to stay in flight, or is there some other technique that we don't yet know about?

"Well, let's use common sense. Have I ever been known to have that great an attention span?"

Honestly, no.

"Yeah. Thanks for the self-esteem booster. Anywho's, I just think the initial thought, and I guess you could describe it as running. You're not constantly thinking about how you're running, but you have to really put an effort in to get you started. Afterwards, you can get faster or slower pretty easily. Same thing with flying, only you have the added options of up and down, sideways, backwards, any which way."

Do you like flying?

"What do you think?"

Why do you keep asking me questions?

"Because you're asking me obvious questions, that's why!"

Well, it's an honest question. Do you like flying?

"Of course I do! Who doesn't?"

IDK…my BFF Jill?

"What is that? Wasn't that some old AT&T commercial or something?"

Actually, it was a Cingular commercial.

"Wow, you don't see that company much anymore."

Don't get me started. Look. All I know is that whenever I think of I don't know, I think of IDK, and that next part comes immediately.

"You've obviously been watching too much television."

Maybe…Anyway, next question. Are you two people or one?

"Well, it's pretty obvious. I'm one person. I just have an alter ego. Like superman!"

Is you ego getting progressively bigger now that everyone in the world knows your secret, from friends to used to be enemies?

"No. I'm just the greatest hero to walk the face of the earth in a long time."

Well, that certainly doesn't make me feel that your ego is the right size. Now, here's a very personal question.

"Great. I didn't realize I was actually in a gossip magazine."

Oh, thank you! I didn't think that my interviews warranted that kind of professionalism, but I'm so happy that you love me!

"…That's not what I said, but okay…"

If Vlad was holding Jazz and Sam at the same time, and you could only rescue one at a time, but you could go back to get the other one, who would you pick?

"Ummm, well…Vlad isn't smart enough to come up with that type of plan, so I'll never have to worry about it."

You have to answer the question. You gave me your word!

"Darn. Dumb hero's word. To be honest, I think I would rescue…Jazz first."

"Excuse me?" (Sam Manson walks in, and the audience erupts with thunderous applause. I bow, because I know it's for me!)

(Danny is visibly surprised.) "Sam! Well, this was unexpected. I thought this was just a one-on-one interview."

Yep. But my Duddies actually did what I asked…for once.

"Wait, you planned this? You were expecting Sam to come?"

Oh, I have lots of tricks up my sleeves.

"So, Danny, what was that about leaving me with Vlad?"

"Well, Sam, it's really simple. You're so good at handling yourself. You could probably defeat Vlad all by yourself. And let's not forget that if you and me were at Vlad's, Tucker would probably be there, too, so you wouldn't really be alone."

"You really expect me to believe that you did all that thinking in that short period of time?"

"Well, I did."

"Whatever. You called me over for a reason, Rebecca. By the way, nice studio. I like the blends of gray everywhere."

Thanks, Sam. Well, to be honest, I just wanted to get Danny in trouble.

"Wow. Well, as far as I'm concerned, you're one inch deeper than Paulina in the shallow pool."

Umm, thanks for the insult. I'm not an idiot you know.

"But, Sam, really. You're my girlfriend. You're the most capable person I know. No matter what, you would be able to outsmart Vlad no prob. Jazz is smart, but she isn't the kind of smart you are."

Awww…and cue family entering.

"Are you guys talking about Vlady? Man, I hate that guy."

"Finally."

"Oh, Jack."

And, now we switch format because I can't handle this type of stress.

Jazz: So you don't think I could handle myself in Vlad's mansion?

Danny: It's not like that!

Sam: Then what is it?

Danny: Well, it was a question, and I was just answering it honestly.

Sam: So, you'd pick your sister over your girlfriend?

Danny: It's not like that! For the second time!

Maddy: Now, Sam, Jazz, Danny would save you both. You shouldn't bother him so.

Jack: Yeah, because my son could totally kick Vlady's butt.

Danny: Yep. And I do. Frequently.

Me: Actually, you're going to be doing that more frequently. I kinda brought Vlad back from the asteroid thingy.

Danny: You got the fruitloop back? Is your purpose in life to annoy me?

Me: At this moment, yes. But later, you and I should really talk about your availability.

Sam: Whoah. I don't think so. You just stick to asking questions, interview girl.

Me: Maybe I will, maybe I won't. So, anyway, Jack, Maddy. May I call you by your first names?

Jack and Maddy: Why not?

Me: All right. You know, it was pretty out of character of you guys at the end to just accept everything, but it did make sense. I just want to ask you…Since the end of the series, have you experimented on Danny at all?

Jack and Maddy: No.

Me: Have you thought about it?

Jack and Maddy:…

Danny: HEY!

Jazz: Really guys? That's bad parenting. At least lie and say no.

Me: It isn't that easy, dear, innocent Jazzy.

Jazz: Okay, are you really going to go there?

Me: I go everywhere. Speaking of which, how that teddy bear of yours that brought out your inner child?

Jazz: Bearbert Einstein? He's good, I guess.

Me: That's a pretty creative name. Were you so happy when you found out Taylor Lautner was going to be on your show?

Jazz: Excuse me?

Sam: Really? This is a Danny Phantom interview. What are you doing, bring him into this?

Me: Well, honestly, I thought that was a cool fact. He played Youngblood. Look it up.

Sam: Figures you'd be a Twilight fanatic.

Me: Actually, I hate Twilight. It's demeaning. I mean, "Edward, Bella, Edward, Bella, Jacob". There, that's the whole series, in a nutshell.

Jazz: Oooh! People are going to so flame you after that.

Me: It's a risk I'm willing to take. Anyway, we're at 4,800 words now.

Danny: You're wasting words by telling us that.

Me: No, wasting words would be talking about how we're wasting words in order to reach five thousand words. So, nice going, Danny.

Jazz: You barely asked us any questions.

Me: Fine. How about this. I'm going to ask you all a riddle. Let's see…I better make this good. Okay, here's one!

Jack: Oh, I love stories.

Me:…Good for you Jack. All right. Here we go. Red houses are made out of red bricks. Blue houses are made out blue bricks. Yellow houses are made out of yellow bricks. What are green houses made out of.

Danny, Sam, Jack: Green bricks!

Jazz and Maddy: Glass.

Danny, Sam, and Jack: What?

Me: YES! That's the tenth what! Whoo hoo! Ten whats for the tenth special! Yeah!

Sam: You're easily ditracted, aren't you?

Me: Yep. And proud. Now, I have some more good news!

Jazz: What?

Me: The Duddies are fired!

Ecto-pi: Gonb! _What!_

Me: Bearbert Einstein has graciously replaced them. Yep, he's a living doll! And Jazz, you don't get to have him anymore.

Jazz: You're evil. Danny, she's really evil.

Danny: Well, I hate to say this, Rebecca, but I am a hero.

Me: Don't make me glomp you.

Danny: And that was the tenth special, everyone. Thank you readers so much for supporting DP Interviews for all this time!

Maddy: You guys are the reason that Danny Phantom was such an awesome show. We appreciate all your comments and reviews.

Bearbert Einstein: And we'll see you again soon!

Everyone waving: Adios, amigos!


	11. Duddies and 13

**Well, that was fun. But, boy, did it take awhile to clean up that mess from the Tenth Chapter Special, didn't it, BB?**

"**You would know, wouldn't you? How could you make me, an innocent little teddy bear that has seen better days, clean this whole thing up? And, in case you forgot, I may not belong to Jazz anymore, but my name is still Bearbert Einstein."**

**That's why it took you a month. You kept complaining about your name when you should have been cleaning.**

"**Grrrr."**

**Aww, you're cute when you growl!**

"**I won't be for long."**

**Now, now. Let's not forget, your priority is your job. Who did you schedule for this interview session?**

"**There's an interview today? Rebecca, I barely had time to pretty up your executive chair, let alone schedule anybody!"**

**Wow. You're pushing your luck, BB. At least the Duddies did their jobs right. Well, since this is your first day, I'll give you a bit of a break.**

"**Phew."**

**You have thirty seconds to get someone while I put down the disclaimer!**

"**WHAT!"**

**Ladies and Gentlemen: I hereby declare that I do not own Danny Phantom, nor any of the show's marvelous characters. When I rule the world, though, they will all come to life and serve me. Oh, wait…They already do! Bwahahahaha!**

"Gmbormgomoo!" _We don't serve you!_

What the-! BB, explain yourself!

"You wanted to interview somebody? Well, I got you two somebodies! Meet the Ecto-Duds!"

But their boring, BB! They only begin their sentences with Gs, and say whole sentences with one word! Besides that, I've been keeping up the façade that I can't understand them for all these chapters! I can't just miraculously speak Duddish!

"Gmeoboenognonoeno!" _Nobody was falling for your so-called façade, Becky._

Besides that, they always talk at the same exact time in the same exact tone. Oh, and I'm Rebecca, not Becky. It's demeaning.

"Oh, and BB isn't?"

BB, just so you know, this is a format specifically designed for up to two people talking at once. If you join, well, my fellow readers may become confused. If I'm confused, well, this whole Fic is hopeless!

"You should have thought of that earlier, shouldn't you?"

"Gmveobdoneonbeomroi." _She's a short-term thinker. Sad story._

Hey!

"Got that right."

How 'bout this, BB. Get someone else to interview within the next page, or else you're fired!

"Gimboem…"_ That's not a very good incentive…_

And you'll be dissected.

"What?"

You heard me. Now, shoo.

"You know, it's never a good idea to annoy a bear named after one of the smartest guys in history."

You're a teddy bear. I'll take my chances. Now, Duddies, I might as well interview you to kill time.

"Gaonje." _Nice to be respected for once._

Hey! This is a sarcasm free zone, you know!

"Geigoje."_ Says the sarcastic one._

…Anyway, first question. Why do you always show up before the main villain, but never inflict any major damage? I mean, there are two of you. Shouldn't that make double the damage?

"Gubieo?" _We thought that you liked Danny Phantom. Why would you want him defeated and/or injured?_

Because I like decent action. What's a show without any explosions, blasts, or bruises?

"Gemobemogo?" _Reality TV?_

Exactly! And Danny Phantom was not a reality TV show.

"Gqeojboe." _It kind of was._

It couldn't be! It was animated!

"Gweonoeoj." _So what? We lived in an animated world._

Can I visit?

"…Gpoook." _…You're already here._

Really? Oh my gawsh! This is so totally awesome! I love being animated! I can stretch my lips really far…ike dish…and fly around in circles! Whoohooo!

"Ghifjwlfjk…" _Wooooow._

"Hey, Becky, I found you another guy to interview."

What? And I was finally having some fun!

"Well, I guess torturing us takes more work than we thought. Hmmm…GET OUT THERE AND DO YOUR JOB!"

Geez, BB. I didn't know you had such a temper. But I can't interview someone else now! I've only asked the Duddies one question!

"G wpb jwi." _Oh, that's okay. Go ahead, interview the other guy._

All right, since you insist. But I have one more question for you, Duddies.

"Grrrr." _Grrrr._

Are you boys or girls?

"…" …

Well?

"Gmboemgoemeojgojeofjoejgoj."_ We're girls._

…So, you wouldn't mind wearing these tutus on your way out, would you?

"GJEOJBOJE!" _Of course we would!_

All right, all right. Wow, everyone's in such a bad mood today.

"The interviewee is coming in, Becca."

Okeedokey. Get out, you two, and take your tutus with you.

"." _._

"Here's a question, hostess. How is it that my Shadow got to go to the Tenth Chapter Special WHOOO! But I wasn't invited?

Oh, lookey here. It's 13…Is that really your name?

"You didn't answer my question."

Well, you sure haven't answered mine.

"What? Dude, I asked you first!"

Dude, I'm a dudette, Dude!

"What?"

What?

"Huh?"

What!

"…What were talking about?"

Well, I asked you if your real name is 13, and you were upset that your Shadow got to go to the Tenth Chapter Special WHOOO! And you didn't.

"Yeah, what's up with that?"

To be honest, 13…may I call you 13?

"Yeessss…"

I kinda prefer 14.

"…It really doesn't make a difference."

So what you're saying is, you don't care what I call you.

"To an extent."

All right, Caroline.

"HEY!"

I didn't really invite Shadow and his group of dimwitted buddies, they came by themselves. If you've got a problem, bring it up with Shadow yourself.

"But he doesn't talk!"

Moronsayswhat!

"…What?"

Whoohoo! Yeah, but both of you have something in common! You're morons!

"Well, it's not fair when you say it all in one word like that. It would be like if I suddenly started talking backwards."

And would that be such a horrible thing?

"On."

…Yes, yes it would be. So, to answer your question, Shadow decided to leave you and hang out with friends of a better quality. Now, you're turn!

"How can you say that so cheerily?"

How can I not? Nope, the real question here is, what's your real name, Caroline?

"Johnny."

No, not your first name! I mean your last name. I think your full name is Johnny Caroline, but it could also be Johnny Loses, since you always do.

"Hey! I don't always lose! I won Kitty back, didn't I?"

You can't win that battle! It's Kitty's decision whether or not she comes back to you. Besides, you practically went out with Jazz, so I wouldn't call that a win. You were pretty desperate…No offense, Jazz.

"That's not nice. I was trying to bring Kitty back, and Jazz just happened to be the girl I saw first. No biggie."

What's with your girlie long hair?

"…Is that even related to what we were talking about?"

Nope, not at all. Now, ANSWER THE QUESTION!

"You're completely random, you know. But, fine. It's my do, yo."

…Please don't ever talk like that again.

"Oh, and you can use capital letters at will? Don't you get headaches from that or something?"

Awww, you listen! See that? He was paying attention to that chapter…Which one was that?

"Now how should I know that?"

YOU SHOULD! And I'm taking medication. Now, I can use capital letters as much as I want. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"That doesn't mean you should."

No, it means I MUST!

"Seriously, us italics or something!"

**IS THIS BETTER!**

"No! It's worse!"

Good. Now, last name, please.

"…Johnny 13.1"

Ha! It's not even a whole number? So, what, you just round?

"Yeah, I guess."

Classic.

**So, that's the end. I hope you guys laughed so hard that milk came out of your noses. I know I did, and it got all over Johnny 13's bike and jacket!**

"**Grrrr"**

**Lots of puppy noises coming from the big dog over there. Anyway, see ya later!**


	12. Kitty and Plasmius

**In this, our twelfth chapter, I think that everyone should be aware that I do not, NOT, **_**NOT**_** the awesomeness that is Danny Phantom.**

"**I think you do, and that you want to take the credit."**

**Be quiet BB, or do you want to get me into a phantom-load of trouble?**

"**Yes, yes I do."**

I should have known. Anyway, I'm still on my Johnny 13.1 vibe right now.

"I know."

No need to growl, you cute little teddy bear. Ooooh! I just want to pinch your little cheeks. Goochy goochy goo!

"For goodness sake! Do I look like a baby?"

You're my baby!

"I bite."

Whoah! Now, now, no need to be so naughty!

"Just get on with the whole 'I'm the greatest, look who's here, OMG' bit already. We're all tired of your ramblings that waste so much time."

Oh, I already went through that phase. But, you know what, BB?

"What?"

My audience loves me anyways!

"In your dreams, yeah, sure they do."

Now, why don't you be a good little beary bear and tell them who's here?

"Why don't you?"

Well, I'm just too lazy. Besides, it's your stuffing at risk here, not mine, BB. Don't forget about your conversation with Mr. Scissors. Heh heh…

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE GIVE A HAND FOR KITTY, COURTESY OF YOUR BESTEST HOSTESS IN THE WHOLE WORLD. WHOOOOOOOO!"

Now that's the way you earn your stuffing. Good job, BB. Now, scamper off and let the…teens?...talk. Now, Kitty-

"Why did you put a question mark after teens?"

Darn. I was hoping you wouldn't see that. Um, well, Mrs…Kitty, umm, you're…uh…a ghost! (Ha ha! I'm a genius!) You look not a year past eighteen, but how should I know what your real age is? Unless you wanted to tell me yourself.

"You're so right! Not a day over eighteen. You're so good. Ha, ha ha ha…ha."

Now that's a forced laugh if I've never heard one…and I haven't.

"Wha-"

So, how are things with Caroline?

"Who-"

Do you have a last name of your own?

"Of c-"

Do you and Johnny ever plan on getting married?

"Du-"

Oh, and by the way.

"WHAT?"

Ooooh, anger…

"You keep interrupti-"

Hi.

"Seriously? You've stopped practically every sentence I've said just to say-"

Who do you prefer, Danny, Fenton or Phantom, or 13.1?

"You have got to stop doing that."

What?

"Interrup-"

Awww, and that's all the time we have folks. Come by next week to see Kitty back in action…vs Cujo the dog! In creepy form!

"But I just got he-"

Sorry, Kitty, but you took too long. Buh-bye now!

"Wha-"

Take her away, Security!

"Gfbjjejoieojobijjobeoj." _And we thought we were done with you. Grumble._

Now, now, Duddies, grumble is not a term we use when escorting out our unwanted guest. Just suck her into my custom made Navok-thermos, based off of the Fenton-thermos, only better, and leave my presence!

"Gqjojvoeoj." _The secret is that it is a Fenton-thermos, but with her name in front._

Whew. I'm glad they left. That Kitty, she really put a downer on my spirits. It's like, the first thing she talks about is her age? How shallow…No wonder she overshadowed Paulina. I bet they're best friends now. Hmmm, but there are no more interviews today? What could happen? Why am I foreshadowing the next paragraph? Hmmm? Question mark?

"What am I doing back here?"

FRUITLOOP!

"Gah! Not you! -"

You done yet?

"- Yep."

Good. Now…how have you been, Vlad?

"I was hoping to never see your face ever again in my entire life, but other than that little blot, I'm richer than ever! Everyone is so dim in Amity Park. They've completely forgotten the whole asteroid thing. Apparently, Daniel's a big enough star to distract them. Idiots."

Idiots who elected you mayor.

"Is that supposed to be defending them?"

Nope. It's insulting you, actually. You were the mayor of idiots. Your cat must have been so very proud.

"You're pushing it. I'm in my ghost-form, should you really be testing me?"

Yes. Think about it. How did you get here in the first place?

"…Otters."

What kind of otters?

"…Otters with huge, ferocious teeth and a mane that rose to the heavens and-"

I have it on video.

"No!"

Yes!

"NO!"

YES! Yes means yes! Geez, it's like, 'Daniel, I'm so awesome.' Yes, you're the opposite. You're like Mr. Opposite.

"…Do you actually have a point?"

I never do…Oh yeah! The video! Let's watch.

**Vlad is in his huge, expensive mansion that is his "incognito, quaint home", when he spies an otter.**

"**Oh, how adorable. Looks like Maddy's going to have a playmate."**

**The otter stands on his two hind legs. Suddenly, his eyes grow to fill half of its face. Bambi eyes.**

"**Ooooh, you guys are just so cute. Come on. Let's go feed you a little something." Vlad begins petting the otter. Suddenly, he goes ghost, laughing maniacally. He zaps the cute, kind, innocent little otter. "Ha ha! You idiotic little animal. You really think you can possibly overcome my intelligence?"**

**The otter stares sadly at Vlad, then turns around and begins marking it's territory.**

"**What? What are you doing? You are not a dog! You do not mark your territory! Especially when it's really my territory!" Vlad starts chasing the otter around the world, ending up at some awesome building…**

And here we are now!

"You're video's biased."

So are you…Whoah!

"Oh great. What now? Some other ill-timed reaction?"

Hey! Others would beg to differ. My reactions are so totally well-timed!

"Now look who's dreaming."

Coming from the man who zapped a defenseless otter and chased him to my lair, I wouldn't be talking.

"Lair…Does that make you evil?"

Some would label me that way. In comparison to you, I'm a genius!

"We were talking about evilness, not your intellect level. Besides, I have an IQ of 106."

Mine's 126, Fruitloop.

"Hey!"

Why don't you look in the mirror. I think someone other than my otter played a little prank on you.

"So it was your otter!"

Just look in the mirror, Cereal Brand.

"Find, but I don't see wha-Know way! Why that little…"

Hahahahahahahhahaha! He's a genius! Look at that! It's the Danny Phantom logo! OMG, I don't know how he did that, but Danny's my new hero, higher than myself, but still slightly below me and I!

"I'll destroy them!"

Dude, you couldn't do that in fifty some episodes. It's not going to change now.

"Yeah Vlad!" (Fangirl squeals as Danny Phantom appears right next to me. "Navok, you're a genius. So much smarter than that fruitloop over there."

I know, right?

"Look at that! He crying now!"

*Vlad attacks, tears in his eyes, aiming at Danny and me, but, let's face it, he has horrible aim* "You two will pay!"

Maybe next chapter, Vlad. In the meantime, get some fruitloops and work on your aim. It's really pathetic, isn't it Danny?

"You got that right!"

*Danny and I laugh while running into the horizon, even though we were just in the building, because I like horizons, and I want to be able to do that. Oh, and Vlad is behind us, the DP logo flying on his cape, permanently stuck there by the greatest super hero of all, Danny Phantom*

**Whew, was that fun! All right guys! Please review, and don't forget to leave your suggestions. I'll be back! Bye! Adios! Sayonara!...Are we done? Phew. Come on, Danny, let's go eat at Olive Garden, which I do not own, by the way.**

"**Actually, I've got school."**

…**Noooooooooooooooo!**

***Vlad appears* "Now look at the one screaming."**


	13. Rebecca Phantom Part 1

**Happy belated Christmas everyone! La dee doo dee dah!**

"**Why are you singing?...You know what, scratch that. What are you singing?"**

**That song that I hear all the time during the holidays. You know, **_**All I want for Christmas is YOU!**_** Dee doo dah dee!**

"**No! NO! Stop! It sounds like a dying squirrel!"**

**You're just jealous that you don't have my talent. Watch me sing the disclaimer. **_**I…don't own Danny PHANTOM! Boop bop!**_

"**Ack! My ears! My stuffed, cute, teddy bear ears!"**

Oh, stop being such a whiny teddy! Now, what's scheduled for our big Christmas special?

"Didn't you just have a special, like, two months ago?"

Hey! I'm the leader of this thing, you shall do as I say when I say it! Any questions?

"Yes, actually. How do you expect me to get anything done when you just decide right on the day of the interview to change things up?"

Look, just get whoever you can to come, and then we'll figure it out as we go along, kay?

"NO! It's not 'kay', kay?"

Huh?

"What?"

Just get someone in here so that I can interview them!

"Yeah, about that. They've seemed to have lost their way here, and they're still in the Ghost Zone."

How can they get lost? This building is located right next to Vlad's old Ghost Portal. Right next to it! He was so nice to lend me his house while he was trapped on an asteroid, don't you think, BB?

"Yeah, well, you're going to have to go inside to get them if you want an interview."

But I don't wanna!

"Well, you have to. Now, go before I use my beary charm against you."

Ugh. Fine.

Inside the Ghost Zone

Aww, man. I think I just stepped in some doggy dudu. I bet it was Cujo's. And how did I convince BB to send me in here without telling me where I'm going? I'm just floating around! And what if I run into a g-ghost? Those guys are such big fans. They'll bombard me with…autographs. Brrrrr. Oh, is that a castle I see up ahead? Time for me to use my star power to gain entrance! Hee hee.

I'M HERE!

"Clockwork, you got it wrong. She's here."

"Don't you think I know that, Observants."

Whoah! You guys! I didn't think this would be your castle!

"It has a big clock on it."

Thank you, Clockwork, but I was so busy fending off…thousands of-

"Evil ghosts including Dan Phantom. Yes, I know."

"Clockwork, you know what you must do."

What must he do? Eat cake.

"She's too big a menace for us to leave her in time."

"Yes, yes. I know."

Oooh, do I have some awesome alter-ego in the future? This is so awesome! Hey, do you guys want my autograph?

"Time Out. Wow, she's a bit noisier than I thought she would be. And I thought she was going to be noisy."

"Now, destroy her! You know how her future will affect time!"

"We've been over this a lot, Observants. All you do is observe. Now, go wherever it is you go when you're not in the scene. I'll take care of things here."

"We hope you know what you're doing, Clockwork."

"I always do. Now, Time In."

I understand that you're all really big fans and- why, where those other two go? You know, the Cyclopes? Well, that doesn't matter right now. So, I have a few questions for you, if you'd be willing to answer them.

"No, the Observants are not my servants. I choose to switch between young, man, and old. And, no I don't want any cake."

Wow, you're good. But, then again, you do know everything…Or so you say. I have a riddle for you.

"…"

What's nine plus one?

"Ten."

Eight plus two?

"Ten."

Seven plus three?

"It's an aluminum can, all right? It's made out of aluminum."

Hmmm, next time I interview, I'm going to think of harder questions.

"I'm afraid there won't be a next time."

What?

"You see, like the Observants said, you are a menace to time and must be dealt with accordingly."

This sounds incredibly similar to that episode with Dan and Danny Phantom where you pretended to fight him, then let him see his future so that he would change his ways so that he would be a good guy once more. That was my favorite episode.

"I'm not kidding."

Okay, why don't I make things easier and just take one of these medallion thingees. There we go. Okay, I'm going into the future. See you, Clockwork!

"Well, there she goes."

Ten Years in the Future

A flash of light. Stumbling. A change in the narration format.

Those were the first things I, Rebecca Navok, storyteller supreme, noticed when I emerged from the glass thingee that Clockwork had in his castle.

The world was in shambles around me. I couldn't believe the destruction. In a weird, sadistic way, it was kind of beautiful. I shook my head. Thoughts like that would only hurt me. I was lucky that I didn't have to fight Clockwork. I mean, I don't have cool phantom powers like Danny! I'd probably be K. before I got a blow in. Plus, I really didn't want to deal with that "Time In, Time Out" business. I mean, that's just not fair! How are you supposed to beat a guy who can control time? I say just go along with his little plans, learn your lesson, give him your autograph because you know that behind that fake facade, he's a huge fan of yours, and get back to interviewing your millions of ghost, half-ghost, and human fans.

After staring into space for thirty minutes, I realized that I'd probably have to get going eventually. Time to see what Clockwork and his 'Servants wanted. And that's when I realized something. Something terrible. Something horrible. Something (insert negative adjective here)!

This is a two part special!

NOOOOOO!

**I can't believe this! You mean I'm going to have to be here until I update again?**

"**Yes, you are. So, you better update soon."**

**Thank you for the advice, Clockwork. You're so helpful!**

"**Always nice to see a little sarcasm coming from you."**

**And to think, this was supposed to be a Christmas special. I was really looking forward to that.**

"**Oh, you can still have your Christmas special."**

**Really?**

"**Next year."**

**NOOOOOO!**

"**Rebecca is in a state of emotional shock right now, so I'll do the honors of asking you to review. Please support this FanFiction."**

**See ya.**

"**I lied about the emotional shock bit, by the way. That's impossible for this one."**

**Thank you.**


	14. Rebecca Phantom Part 2

**So, it's been quite a while since I last updated. Because, even though my ego outshines all of the other characters on this FanFiction, I still have a heart. Way over there. But that's unimportant. What's really important is that everyone understands this one simple sentence: I do not own Danny Phantom! This is the fourteenth time I say that, and why some people don't know that is a mystery to me. Speaking of which, let's watch me investigate some stuff. Onward!**

"Man, Amity Park has really let itself go!" I said, staring at the desolate street that I recognized from obsessively watching Danny Phantom episodes. There was that mayor place that showed up in three episodes (give or take), right next to… Hey! Okay, who removed Danny's awesome statue that he earned after he saved the world?

After walking around the mayor's building aimlessly for a little while, I decided to investigate this place. After all, how could I face Clockwork and not know that valuable lesson that every Danny Phantom character learns at the end of each episode? I suppose I could fake a lesson, like "Honesty is the best policy" or "Treat others as you want to be treated" or "Don't stay up watching Danny Phantom passed ten o'clock on a school night", but how could I possibly choose one?

That's when an awful blast enveloped my body. I felt as though every cell in my body was being incinerated in one moment, and yet survived, which was weird, since incineration usually means death.

The momentum of the shot made me go forward and crash into the mayor's building. I knew that I hated the architecture there for some reason. Now I knew why.

My vision was blurry. My head hurt. I tried to get up, but my arm wouldn't respond. Neither would my legs. I tried to turn my head to see what kind of damage I had inflicted on the building. Ouch! Okay, bad idea. I didn't try to move my head.

Through the little black dots that were clouding my usually perfect vision, I could see a large silhouette coming ever closer. Usually, I'd think it was some secret admirer coming to confess their true feelings to me (don't laugh. It happens more often then you'd think) but under the circumstances, I decided to disregard that theory and move into self-defense, sarcastic back talk mode. It was helpful that my mouth was still functioning as well as my mind.

"Goobleh?" Okay, maybe my mind was a little fuzzy. I blinked, then tried again. "Who are you?" As a few seconds passed, my vision cleared. Those nasty little black dots slowly started to go away. In front of me, just a few feet away, on her knees to get a better look at me, was a girl. Well, not a girl. I'm trying to be polite. She looked like she was in her twenties, even though her entire head was filled with snow-white hair that flowed down to her waist. I saw an R on her shirt. Obviously a copy of Danny's stigma.

In fact, her entire outfit seemed to match Danny's.

Then it donned on me. "You're a cosplayer!"

The lady chuckled, which slowly grew into a full, maniacal laugh. Well, at least now I knew who the villain was. Only villain's have maniacal laughs. If she had had a normal laugh, well, then things would've been different.

"Geez, I never thought I'd see you again. It's been, what ten years! Ha!" She wiped a tear from her eyes.

"Oh, so you're an evil ghost who wants an interview with me. Well, that's understandable. What's your name…kiddo?" I always try to make my fans feel comfortable around me.

Her laughter abruptly stopped. Before I could react, what in my weakened state and all, she grabbed the collar of my shirt and held me against the wall so that we were eye to eye. My shoes were a good two feet off the ground. Someone must've had a mean growth spurt. That would make her at least seven feet. Maybe she was a basketball star.

"You're so fickle. I remember that now. But to think, you wouldn't even recognize me." She pushed me against the wall, making some of those black dots begin to appear again. "Now, tell me, why are you here?"

I bit my tongue. Figuratively. But, I couldn't help it. My sarcastic side got the better of me. "Hey, I'm the hostess spectacular. I ask the questions. You answer them. Never mess up the cycle!"

A green ecto-blast shot up her arm and around me, making me have the burning feeling again. This time, there was no way for me to remain conscious, so I decided to go to sleep for a little while.

And by that I mean I passed out.

…

What can I say? I'm not some ghost who can blast through twenty walls and somehow stay conscious even though I should technically be dead…again. I'm a human. I human who just so happens to have an awesome interviewing gig. I love my job.

Except when BB sends me off to do a Christmas special that apparently isn't a Christmas special, but a let's-beat-the-hostess party! That little teddy bear is so fired. Besides, no secretary deserves to stay on after a special. It's BB's time to say the least.

I'll knock the stuffing out of him when I get back though.

Before I could finish thinking of all the horrible puns I could possibly use when a teddy bear does my paper work, I heard voices. One of them was quite familiar. I kept still while I tried to get my surroundings straight. I could feel metal on my wrists, and my legs were on the floor. They had locked me up? How inhumane!...Then again, they were phantoms.

"Look what we have here. Looks like Clockwork's interfering again." I'd know that voice anywhere. It was Dan Phantom, the ten year older, evil version of Danny Phantom that has a HUGE fan base! "Navok, where did you find her?"

"Just outside the mayor's office, Senor Phantom." That sarcasm. It couldn't be! No! I already have an arch nemesis. Amorpho! I couldn't possibly have two!

And worse. What if she gets a bigger fan base the ME!

"No way! No way, Jose! You are not a ten year older version of me who has GHOST POWERS! That's not fair!" I slammed my hands against the metal, but quickly stopped. All this action was giving me a headache.

"Well, look who's awake," the phantom version of me said, a teasing smile on her face. You know, to avoid confusion, she will be called Navok. I'm using personal pronouns, so hopefully it won't get confusing. Unless it already is. Anyway, I had to get some answers, and I was obviously trapped, so I started using my powers of hosting.

"But how?" I tried to keep a straight face. These two were obviously villains. They would reveal their entire back story and plans to me with the slightest prodding. After all, everyone knows that villains are idiots.

Hold on a sec. If I'm a villain, does that make me an idiot? Did I just call myself an idiot?

No, I'm still the good guy. Navok was just some character that probably had no experience in the ways of keeping your thoughts to yourself.

"Well, it's a long story. I'm not sure that I want to tell it to you." Navok yawned as though she was tired.

"Wow. Do you begin every sentence with 'well'?" I asked, trying to stall for time.

"Well, it depends," Navok answered with a grin.

"Okay, now you're just trying to annoy me." With that, I started to methodically wiggle my hands. The metal was somewhat loose and slimy. I would definitely have bruises the next day, but I had to get out and take off my amulet.

"It's possible." Navok walked across the room towards me. I stopped my arm wiggling. "But what are you going to do about it?"

Using my awesome mind power, I responded, "I'm you. I'll just not become evil."

"Ha!" Navok scoffed. I could see Dan in the background rolling his eyes.

"I'll just stop that line of thinking now. Navok and I are outside the boundaries of time by now. I wasn't about let Clockwork keep me imprisoned forever, but I needed some help." Dan's smile actually scared me. "I have to thank you for that." My eyes must have popped out of my heads.

"I'm a hostess!" I stammered, trying to think about what Dan was saying. "I wouldn't let you free!"

Dan was so close now that I could smell his breath. The dude needed some breath mints. "Sure, but you would certainly interview me. Clockwork can't do anything; I'm outside of time. My younger, nicer self ensured that. And now," Dan pulled on my collar. I'd need a new shirt after this, "Rebecca Phantom is as well." He pulled off my amulet. I closed my eyes, thinking I would appear in Clockwork's castle. When I opened them-

-I was still stuck in whatever mucky cellar they had chained me to. "Why am I not returning?" I asked. Dan handed Navok my amulet. She started twirling it, sticking out her tongue.

"Don't be so naïve," she said. The twirling was kind of distracting, but I focused on what she was saying. Villains always say too much. "Dan wouldn't just let you leave. The amulet here is to make sure nothing you can do will get rid of me. Dan happened to have an extra from when he got out of that dumb old thermos. Now, that one's stuck inside of you, and I have one all for myself." The amulet went intangible, and Navok stuck inside herself. Gross!

"Well, why the charade of letting me know all this?" I had to ask. I'd been wondering it forever. Dan answered that question for me.

"We're evil. We like to gloat."

With those words of wisdom, the evil, older pair took off, leaving me stranded all alone, my hands being held to a wall by some pieces of metal. I went back to wriggling.

…

Two hours later, I was out of the metal cuffs. Thankfully. Those things were fashion nightmares!

I found a stairway relatively easily and made my way to the upper ground. I'd need to find Vlad if I wanted to get out of here. He had those gloves that could rip apart my innards and get out the amulet.

As I walked down the streets, I realized with increasing anxiety that I was all alone outside. I'd be an easy target if either Navok or Dan Phantoms spotted me. In other words, I was doomed.

Then, in the distance, I saw the tip of my salvation.

I started to run, keeping the blimp thing in the distance within my sight. After a few turns, I finally came up to it.

FentonWorks. Danny Fenton's home for fourteen years. It was any fangirl's dream come true! I was about to enter the sacred home of so many adventures!

Without thinking, I went in. After spending hours watching Danny Phantom, I knew my way around the house as if it was my own. In no time at all, I was down in the basement, where the Ghost Portal was kept.

But, before I could enter the Ghost Zone, I'd need some protection. Safety first. I looked around the lab. It was a little messy, but still in good shape after ten years. I rummaged around a bit, then found what I was looking for.

"I love jumpsuits!" I said to the audience that I was sure was watching me. My philosophy was to always live life as though you were on a reality show or someone was typing your memoir. Hey, it could happen! (It has before!)

After putting on the classy, white jumpsuit that had a few black dashes, I made my way to the Ghost Portal. I couldn't find any buttons, so I decided to pry it open. Yes, I pried it open. Who says that girls are, well, too girly?

Without a second thought, I went in. I leaned against the wall for support. I mean, I had been knocked unconscious just a couple of hours ago! I probably had a concussion or something.

Then I heard a button click.

Oh, geez.

There was a blinding white.

Then, for the second time that day, I was on the ground, completely unaware of my surroundings.

Two Hours Later

I woke up. My hand went to my head. "Oooh," I groaned, getting up. I rubbed my eyes, flicking some of my white hair out of my eyes.

Wait. Hold it!

White hair?

I looked down at my hands. The gloves I had put on, I remembered them being a dark black color. Now they were as white as my hair. I got up, searching the lab for a mirror or something. In my haste, I got a little light headed-

-and passed through a wall into a bathroom.

I wasn't sure whether I should be happy or nervous.

I was…I am…

Rebecca Phantom!

**Well, that's it for the Rebecca Phantom two part special. No worries, the rest of the story will be continued in the next chapter. I just wanted to make sure that I got this up in a reasonable sort of time frame, and for me, reasonable is two weeks.**

**Please review! Also, I'm thinking of maybe making a comic about this…Maybe. If you have any opinions, feel free to voice them!**

**Also, the interviews will continue in a little bit. Don't worry, I still remember the title of this FanFiction.**

**Sorry to keep you in suspense. The next chapter will be up ASAP!**

**Yours truly,**

**Rebecca Navok, Hostess Extraordinaire!**


	15. The AllImportant Back Story

**Well, how was the Rebecca Phantom special?**

"**Horrible! You didn't even finish it!"**

**What does Finnish have to do with the Rebecca Phantom special, BB?**

"**Ugh! Just finish it already! You're so annoying."**

**Wait, I didn't finish? OMG! This is worse than a Justin Bieber movie!**

"**I know-Wait, what?"**

…**Nothing. I don't own Danny Phantom, Justin Bieber, or, you know, stuff that I don't own…Onward!**

I am Rebecca Phantom! Seeing my awesome white hair and my super cute jumpsuit, I did the sensible thing that any young girl would do if she woke up to find out that she had gained the same powers of her all time hero, Danny Phantom.

I squealed. I squealed loud and proud.

Then I jumped in the air and started flying, using my intangibility to pass through floor after floor of FentonWorks. Within seconds, I was in the air of a beautiful sight.

Oh, wait. My evil self and Danny's evil self destroyed everything, so, if anything, it was awfully ugly. Everything was gray, and the things that weren't gray were dull to say the least. All the buildings were destroyed. Oh well, as long as my studio still survived.

My studio!

How could I have forgotten my studio? It's like my home! It is my home! Without a second thought, I flew across the city, searching high and low for my beloved studio.

To put it simply, I did not like what I found.

Now I knew true, pure evil. Navok and Dan had gone too far this time.

There, on my studio wall, were the words, "Danny Phantom stinks!" But, that wasn't what bothered me. On top of that was, "Rebecca Navok is the worst hostess…eva!" I didn't know which of those two villainous phantoms had had the gall to besmirch my excellent name, and I really didn't care. They'd both pay.

Suddenly, a shiver coursed up and down my spine, then spilled out of my mouth in a blue breath. Man, that was cool! It was like one of those snow days, when your breath was right in front of your face and you can literally see it!

But it was at least ninety-five degrees outside.

My ghost sense was tingling.

And the best part about that? I have a ghost sense! *insert fangirl squeal*

Oh, but I had to be serious. Letting my energy focus in my hands, I turned around. "Take this, you graffiti drawing, name besmirching, anti-fangirl phantom!" As I let a green ecto-blast go from my hands, I realized that the ghost behind me was neither Navok nor Dan. Which would be a relief…

…if I hadn't hit Danny Phantom right in the chest.

I couldn't believe it! I had hit Danny Phantom, and he hadn't been able to defend himself! I'm a better ghost-fighter than him, plus I'm a hostess spectacular! I'm such a multi-talented person.

Wait, hitting my idol is a bad thing. Whoops.

"Oh my gosh! Danny Phantom! I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so-" In the middle of my deeply moving speech, I felt an ecto-blast hit me. Looking back on it, I'm actually kind of glad I got hit. Look at how embarrassing that is! Eighty-nine "so"s. Someone had to stop me. I'm just glad that it was someone as kind and thoughtful as Danny Phantom.

"Man, I forgot how annoying you can be. But I'm glad you're safe." A little part of me felt all warm…Was that my cold hard melting? Oh, Danny, how thoughtful, how dreamy!

"Danny Phantom!"

"Last time I checked, yeah, that's me." Danny looked different. As in, ten years older, but still a good guy. He had his dreamy, ghost-white hair in the same fashion, with it parted so that it covered part of one of his eyes. Every time he turned his head (and this is the cool part) his part would change, so his eyes were always equally covered.

"Wow. You look ten years older. Hey, did you and Sam marry?" There it was. My inner hostess took over. Or maybe it was my overwhelming desire to go out with him. If he was married though, I'd maybe have to overshadow somebody. Somebody whose name was Mansion, just take out one vowel. Yeah, I'm serious.

But Danny just blushed. "Still a hostess, I see. Always asking questions." He shook his head. "That's what caused all this trouble. If it hadn't been for you, maybe this future would look-"

"Brighter?" I cut in.

Danny smiled. "You noticed that too?"

I looked around. "I'm sorry, it just looks like a really dreary library where all the kids are coughing on your books and iPods and stuff." I paused, thinking. "You wouldn't happen to know why, would you?"

Danny shook his head. "I've been here for ten years. Of course I know what happened."

"Well, tell me! Navok and Dan weren't being nice villains and telling me their plans!"

"Oh, yeah, that's kind of my fault." My eyes widened. Nothing was ever Danny's fault. He's too awesome to take the blame for anything. "See, ten years ago, you had an interview with my darker, older, somehow bigger fan-based version of myself. Well, to make a long story short, he overshadowed you, then made a clone of himself."

"So I'm not evil! I'm just being manipulated!" I exclaimed, proud of my future self.

"No, no. He left after a day, but you just loved the ghost powers and the fact that you could do whatever you wanted. I suppose it didn't help that he took away your humanity by replacing it with ghost powers, but you chose that path."

"No. I would never become a villain! They're complete idiots. Why would I want to join the complete idiots club?" I couldn't believe this. I floated down, taking a seat on the gravel. Danny sat Indian style across from me.

"Well, you're not an idiot villain, I can tell you that much. For the last ten years, Navok and Dan have been evading both Clockwork and me. In short, we need your help."

I squealed, then calmed myself down. "What can I do? Does it involve an elaborate fight scene that will really only take up one fifth of the chapter?"

"Actually yes. Well, that, and another interview with Vlad."

"YES! I LOVE FRUITLOOPS!"

Danny and I smiled, then burst out laughing. We knew one thing for certain. One more chapter, and this whole thing would be over. Plus, I'd have ghost powers, and my humanity. It would be a win-win. Unless I was the villain, where it would most definitely be a lose. And it would be. For Navok and Dan. And maybe Vlad-y.

**Since no one commented on the comic thing, I'm going to assume that's a no.**

**Thanks for the reviews. As soon as I get five for this chapter, on that very day, I'll update, even if that very day is tomorrow, so please, leave me a review. And a cookie. I need to stuff it into BB when I get the chance. Five reviews=update!**


	16. Vlad's Third Interview BWAHAHAHAHA!

**As promised, as soon as I got that fifth review, I updated! Here's the final chapter in the Rebecca Phantom arc. After this, it's probably going to be all interviews.**

"**Aww, man! But I liked you better when you were gone."**

**Technically, I'm still in the future, BB. I just come back for these disclaimers.**

"**You don't have to do that. You should just stay in the future…far away from me."**

**Boys and gals, I do not own Danny Phantom. Oh, and Bearbert?**

"**Oh, geez. She called me Bearbert. This is bad."**

**You're fired. Now, run away before I literally set you on fire. heeheeHEEHEEHEE!**

"**AAAAH! CREEPY LAUGH!"**

**Heh, heh. Works every time…**

So, there I was, in the future ghost zone, FLOATING, and getting ready for my interview with Vlad. To think, after The Ultimate Enemy, he STILL had a huge football blocking his ghost portal entrance.

"He's such a fruitloop," I said to myself as I pushed the football out of the way. I took a deep breath. Here it was, my big break. If I could get all the answers out of Vlad that I needed, if I could just annoy him enough, then I could return to my good ole format. Ah, how I've missed it.

"Come to kick an old man when he's down?" Those were the words I heard as I entered Vlad's…quaint…abode. I had to wonder if he just spent all his time in this cave. Yeah, it was a cave. In fact, it looked exactly like the cave from The Ultimate Enemy.

"So, what, you just sit right there, in front of those television screens, staring at that picture that I could've sworn was ripped in all prior episodes…waiting to ask that exact line?" I knew I was being straightforward, but, hey, I'd just been knocked unconscious a lot in one day, and I was a ghost. I'm entitled to some moodiness.

And my moodiness comes out as torturous interviews.

For the people I'm interviewing.

"Have I mentioned how much I love my job?"

"…Are you still talking to me?" Whoops. I guess I said that out loud. Makes me wonder how people like Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh manage with little people inside their heads. "Oh, what does it matter. It's been ten years since that blasted interview, and after that, everything went wrong." He glared at me. "This is more your fault than Daniel's when he turned into an evil, alter ego that had a bigger fan base than him."

Wow. I guess everyone's using that little joke now. "You know, Vlad, you can't just spit out the same jokes Danny and I have been saying for the past two chapters. It loses it's funniness when you say it."

Vlad just stared. "And yet you and Daniel have been using that 'Fruitloop' bit since day one."

"Technically, Danny's the one who has been calling you a fruitloop since day one. I just joined in and added my genius to it to further annoy you."

I could tell that Vlad was about to get really angry, but he took a deep breath, calming himself. Wow. He chooses now to become cool-and-collected? I needed him to transform!

"So, is this an interview, you crazed-up hostess?"

What? I couldn't believe it! Did he just call me a crazed-up hostess? "Did you just call me a 'crazed-up hostess'? That's not nice, Kellog's. Not. Nice. At. All."

"I'll tell you what's not nice. Bringing in thousands of ghosts and humans from the Danny Phantom universe, interviewing them as though they're your own little toys, and then becoming evil and destroying the cities."

I let those words sink in for a second, then, "I interview thousands of ghosts? That rocks!"

Vlad rolled his eyes. "This is, what, the third time you interview me? Didn't you get all your information from the first two interviews?"

I giggled. "Actually, about five seconds after I dismissed you from the interviews-"

"You never dismissed me. I had to escape from your keyboard army!"

"I know. That's why all those keys got fired and I switched to the ecto-duds. Anyway, five seconds after the interviews, I would remember something else that I wanted to ask you. Then, after watching you for hours on my television-"

"You've been watching me?"

"Isn't NetFlix just a miracle? Yes! Now, stop interrupting me for dramatic effect. I'm trying to get a point across here. Anyway-"

"Did you bring any cats with you?"

"…You done?"

Vlad stopped, thinking for a moment. "Yes, I suppose. Now, get this thing over with."

"So, I was thinking-"

"Pancakes!"

"Oh, now you're just trying to annoy me!"

I swear, Vlad tried to act innocent…You do not want to see that. "Maybe."

"Let me just get to the point."

"Finally!" I paused for a moment, letting the suspense build. "Didn't you say you were going to get to the point?"

"Sssh! I'm trying to build suspense here."

"Oh, yeah, because that ALWAYS works!"

I thought back to all the horror movies I'd watched in the past months. "Good point. So, here's my question. Why on earth, after years of planning and plotting and being invisible would you reveal yourself to a fourteen-year-old boy with superpowers, and then ask him if he would join you against his dad? I mean, in that point, and then at the end of the series, when you reveal your secret to the rest of the world, those were some brash actions."

"Yes, well, I was sure that they would work out at the time."

"To me, it looks more like the writers of the series wanted to end the series quickly, and since you're everyone's favorite villain, they wanted to put you out of the picture so that your fangirls would be happy that you were in the last episode."

"That's a lot of thinking for you, Becky. You might want to sit down."

Oooh, Becky. How I loathe that nickname. And the worst part? I think Vlad knew that I hated it! "Do I look like a character out of Tom Sawyer? You have to admit, I'm more stylish than 1800s."

"Is that a trick question?"

"All right, all right. You had your fun. Now…_**ANSWER THE QUESTION!**_"

Vlad's eyes widened. "My, my. Bold, underlined, italicized, and capitalized. Are you turning Hulk-green?" I could tell I was scaring him. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. I'm just a warm and fuzzy type of person. Unless I'm ripping out Bearbert Einstein's insides, which I will, once I get back to the present, er past. Future? Ah, just forget this time thing!

"Well, you see, I really wanted Daniel on my side. His father is such an oaf that, well, how could he not want me, a billionaire, for a father?"

Did he really want an answer? Well, it didn't really matter. I gave him one anyway. "For starters, you're pretty much married to your cat, Maddy. Then, there's your ecto-acne that just pops up from time to time. Ew. Also, you have this weird obsession with a married woman, when you could perfectly well move on. Oh, and let's not forget, you made a clone of Danny! That's just creepy. No wonder you're a fruitloop!"

"Dare I say it? I'm not a fruitloop!"

"By the way, considering that in The Ultimate Enemy, you supposedly never caused Danny to become Dan in the end, due to the change in timelines and stuff, how are you having such an in-depth conversation with me about that episode?" Then it hit me. "Oh my gosh! You watch Danny Phantom on NetFlix, too, don't you?"

Vlad took a step back, trying to find the words he needed to defend himself from that incredible accusation. "This is so awesome!" I exclaimed. "Did you rate it five stars? I rated it five stars! If could have, I would have given it a million!"

"No. NO! Stop your incessant chatter!"

In my world, stop means go. "Did you notice how Danny's powers evolved so quickly towards the end? I mean, he could really use them. It was so awesome! I'm thinking of watching the entire series AGAIN!"

"Oh, that's it. I give in!" With that, Vlad's little loopy thing appeared. As it passed in front of him, he changed from his weird, pony-tail look into a weird, blue-skinned guy with spiky hair. When this was over with, I'd give him a makeover. The cape's the first thing to go.

"I hope you're ready, Becky. You may have ghost powers now, but you're still no match for me!" Vlad let out an ecto-blast. I'd entered his cave as a ghost, so I didn't waste any time in transforming.

I jumped out of the way, easily evading his attack, or, I should say, attacks. Blast after blast of ecto-ray was aimed at me. Even with my awesome skills, I was barely evading them. Plus, jumping up and down is tiring work!

_Where are you, Danny?_ I thought, going intangible. The ecto-rays went right through me. _Duh! I'm a ghost! I'll just stay this way until the fruitloop tires himself out._

"Don't think that that will help you, Rebecca. I'm the most skilled half-ghost in this entire series! I have a few tricks up my sleeve yet!"

And that's when it hit me.

Actually, two things hit me. One was literal, the other figurative. 1) Vlad is so going to be my next secretary. Boy, will that be fun! And, oh yeah, 2) an ecto-ray that went right through me, but stayed inside.

It's a weird thing, to feel something go through you, and yet to know that it was still bubbling inside. I lost my intangibility, feeling as though a fire was engulfing me. I screeched. Those evil little black dots were starting to cloud my vision.

But Vlad had made a mistake. Well, part of my plan, but a mistake for him.

When his ray came out of me, so did my medallion. Of course, the ray was engulfing me, so the medallion just appeared around my neck, where it used to be before Dan Navok put it inside of me. I knew that I wouldn't be eating anything from metal for a while now. That means no metal plates, cups, forks, spoons, knives. Not even sporks. And who doesn't love sporks? I mean, just the name is funny!

"What's this we have here?" Vlad stood on top of me, lifting me up by the medallion. I could feel the air being choked out of me. "A medallion? Clockwork! But who put it inside of you?"

"Who do you think?" I spat out.

Then, right on cue, Danny came and punched Vlad in the back. "Danny, it's you!" I said, imitating one of those fangirl screeches. I always thought they were annoying. Even when I, a great hostess, let one loose, I could feel the annoyance coming out of my mouth. "Sorry, Danny, it kind of just slipped out."

Danny uncovered his ears, then ran and grabbed me across my waist. Together, we went intangible…

And waited.

It took them longer than I thought they would, but, after what seemed like forever, Navok and Dan came into the cave.

"Ha. That Cheesehead. He should've hidden his lair more carefully after that Danny Phantom series came out. It was just too easy to find." Dan looked over at Vlad, who was now unconscious and in his human form. "Looks as though someone beat us to the punch."

Then he pieced it together. "Navok, we leave. Now!"

"Oh, no you don't!" Danny and I became visible, each holding a thermos. Danny had gone to his house, getting two thermoses. He also made an effort to leave a bit of a ghost-trail for our older alters to follow. Man, like I said, all villains? Idiots. Yeah.

Seeing them get sucked into the thermoses, though. That was enjoyable. Really. You have no idea how happy that made me.

And then I took off my medallion and went home.

The end.

…What? You don't believe me? You think I wouldn't just leave Danny without doing something Navok-y?

Well, it's quite possible that right before I threw away my medallion I pecked him on the cheek, but, hey, you've got no proof!

**Anyways, that's the end of the Rebecca Phantom arc. Next chapter will be in the original format, with the original interviews. Please review! Last chance to say if you want a comic that will show and continue this arc! Or, you know, just review. I mean, you've gotten this far, haven't you? Just click on the button underneath this text and type "Cool" or something. It makes a huge difference in my mind, and may result in quicker updates.**

**Anywho, toodles for now! Navok out! (Also, this doesn't mean that I won't interview Dan Phantom or Vlad again. Just an FYI)**


	17. Youngblood

_**From the desktop of Rebecca Navok:**_

_**Don't forget to brush the duck that lives on the back porch.**_

…**Okay, Vlad. I know you're upset about being my secretary, but, let's face it, when am I ever going to brush the duck on the back porch? It's been there for weeks. You brush it!**

"**Do I look like a duck brusher to you? I am Vlad Masters!"**

**Actually, you look like a secretary to me. Now, remind the boys and girls out there why I'm writing in bold print. And be enthusiastic about it. I don't want your sourness to rub off.**

***Fake smile stretching across his face…Child runs away screaming* "We here at DP Interview Corp. do not own Danny Phantom, the series or the ghost-boy. Unfortunately."**

**Now, now, Vlad, no one wants to hear about your Danny complex. Just invite the next victim…I mean interviewee. Gee, I've been waiting to say that.**

*Sigh* "Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce one of the only ghosts I didn't interact with in the series, other than most of the other ghosts that I didn't contact at all, Youngblood and his parrot."

Thank you Vlad. Good boy. Gooooooo-

"I AM NOT A DOG!"

Whatever you say. Because you're obviously not a fruitloop either.

*Vlad storms off into his Vlad cave hidden behind a football…I wonder if he was happy when the Packers won the Superbowl? Will I ever be able to hold a single train of thought? …Who am I interviewing again?*

"Hey! Over here! What are you staring at?"

Oh, yeah, sorry…Hey! You're that weird ghost kid with the parrot…thingee… For now, how about I duck tape his mouth closed so that I don't have to listen to him wanting a cracker.

"No! Don't do that!"

Okay, okay. I won't. Stop waving your balloon sword at me. It's giving me the creeps.

"…Was that sarcasm?"

There is a chance that it may or may not have been a serious tone that I took to belittle you, yes.

"Ack! My head hurts!"

*Evil grin* I think this is going to be more fun than I originally thought it would be. All right, um, Younghemoglobin-

"My name's Youngblood, and don't forget it…Did you call me hemoglobin?"

Youngblood, Youngblood, that's what I meant. So, mind telling us why you came in as a pirate today?

"No reason." *From the parrot*

"We're just going to steal all your cool technology. Hey, stop pecking me!"

I can just tell there's a good dynamic between you two. Too bad. You know, Vlad has told me countless times that I have this way about me that tears at other people. I bet you two are hiding something.

"I'm pretty sure that those statements had nothing to do with each other."

No one asked you, Parrot Mc-Squeakersville!

"Well, I never-"

How come your British or whatever and Youngbrat is obviously not?

"Well, I-"

I'm asking Captain Youngblood, Mr. Parrot Talky-Talk. Geez, stop being such a glamour hog.

"I am not a hog!"

But you can turn into a hog, can't you? I recall you turning into a mule in one episode…

"…You do realize that the young master hasn't been able to answer any of your questions. I believe it's about time that I flew off." *Flies away, which is disappointing, because I was about to feed him a cracker…Oh, well. He'll be back. They always come back.*

So, Young-glucose, you want to steal all my awesome technology? Well, I'm afraid all I have is this keyboard and Vlad, and, let's face it, no one wants Vlad over there. *Whispering* He has girl problems.

"Hey, I heard that! I'll have you that I almost have Maddy in the palm of my hands!"

I'm not talking to you, cat man! And it's spelled Maddie, ya fruitloop! Now, Youngblood, as I was saying before your parrot squawked in-

"He does do that a lot."

Yes, I know. Now, why is your parrot possibly British.

"I don't know. He just likes that accent."

Wait, you mean that's not his real accent?

"Does he look cool enough for that accent?"

…Is that a trick question? He's just a pile of bones! He's not even a cool, green blob like Spectra's henchie, Bertie or whatever.

"Yeah, well, he went to one too many Harry Potter movies, and one day he just came out with that accent."

Hmm, I'll have to remember that. Now, Youngblood, is that really your name?

"Youngblood?"

Yes, Youngblood.

"Of course that's my name, ya landlubber!"

Isn't it land lover?

"I know! That's exactly what I thought when I said it. But Pistachio told me it was lubber."

Yes! Huzzah! I've discovered the parrot's name!

"What, Pistachio?"

…Why do you keep repeating what I say? Yes, Pistachio! It's like a pasta dish!

"Um, could you not tell him that I told you?"

Why not?

"He doesn't like it. See, he also ate pasta at the Harry Potter movies, during that part where they drink that PolyJuice potion. So, now whenever he hears Pistachio, poly, or juice, he has a bit of an…episode."

Aaaaah. I see…*You guys know where this is going, don't you?* Don't worry, your misstep is safe with me. Do you have a crush on Ember?

"The girl with the wicked blue hair?"

Yes, the one with the voice remarkably similar to Penelope Spectra's and Timmy Turner's.

"Who's Timmy Turner?"

Sorry, another show, another torture device. I think little Young-redgoo has a crush on Ms. McClain.

"Well, she is sweet. And she knows the way to a kid's heart…She called me 'Dipstick!'"

…Um, you do know that that's-

"I know, isn't she just the awesomest."

You know, I never took you as someone who uses –est, but, I suppose, in your teeny weeny little mind, maybe. I think she's fun to mess with. You know, just between you and me, I hear that if anyone stands up to Skulker, she'll fall heads over heels for that person. Now, that's just the word on the street, but if you could stand up to that toad-

"I'm a pirate! I can do that, no problem."

Wait! Before you fly off for your crush, what were you doing when you were alive that gave you a hook hand thing and a peg leg?

"Oh, that? Are you kidding? Pistachio pecked them off when I came to the Ghost Zone!"

Wow, that's pretty graphic.

"It actually tickled."

Wait, so you don't feel pain?

"Nope!"

…That explains so much.

"That Phantom kid though. He's such a doof."

HOW DARE YOU CALL MY DANNY A DOOF!

"Well, that time, I didn't call him a doof. You did."

*Pant Pant*

"I mean, half the things I threw at him, he could just go intangible. You know, I was watching his show the other day, and if he used that power more, he's probably get less hurt. I mean, you can't get hit, but you can hit people, like this!"

Whoah, whoah! You can't hit a girl!

"…But you're a half-ghost now, right?"

If I say no, will you not hit me?

"Maybe."

No.

*Swoops down. I go intangible he accidentally hits Vlad instead*

"What was that?"

Ha! The fruitloop can't even see you…Then how'd you introduce him?

"It was on the list! Can I resign now?"

Nope. Hey, Youngbrat!

*Youngblood turns around* "What?" *Gets hit with my totally awesome ghost-ray*

That's what you get. Hey, it's the parrot!

"Well, I leave for five minutes, and you get hit by a little girl's ray."

"Hey! She's trickier than you'd think."

Yep. I'm tricky Pistachio.

"You told her!"

"No, I-she-I…You're just a meanie!"

Yes, yes I am.

**So, after that, Pistachio started pecking at Youngblood, who laughed because it tickled. You know, Vlad, you have to wonder how those two ever got along.**

"**Well, that's easy. He loves him."**

**I don't know, Fruitloop. He sure is pecking pretty hard.**

***Both watch for a little while* "Well, aren't you going to help him."**

**What do I look like, a pet trainer? Of course I'm not going to help him. Now, go off to your little corner over there by the windowsill.**

"**I wish you'd just let me quit."**

**Quit on your own time. I'm having too much fun. Until the next interview, Navok out! Don't forget to leave me a little review. It's just below this**

**word.**


	18. Lancer and BertrandBut mostly Lancer

**So, I've been wondering which Danny Phantom character I should interview next…and I choose Vlad!**

"**NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

**Whoah. Don't have a conniption on me, Vlad. I was only kidding.**

"**Why you little-"**

**K-rating, Vlad. K-rating.**

"**Do I look like I care about your little ratings? Why, I'd gladly-"**

**Vlad. There is a reason for this bold text at the beginning, and you're just wasting precious time on your personal problems. No one cares that you can't get Maddie…although your obsession with Danny is slightly disturbing sometimes.**

"…**Where do you come up with things?"**

**Fine. If you're not going to be helpful, I'll say the disclaimer. I do not own Danny Phantom. Vlad's mine, though. He's just the best secretary to torture. You're my fave, Vlad!**

"**Why me? How'd I get myself into this?"**

Well, it all started long ago when your mom and dad decided to make you work as an intern at that university with Maddie and Jack…I forgot it's name, though.

"It's the University of Wisconsin. It isn't that hard."

Yeah, yeah! And your daddy-bear-

"Please don't ever call him that again."

I'M NOT DONE LET ME FINISH!

"…Run-on sentence alert."

Anyway, your daddy-bear taught you that power is everything.

"Where do you find these things?"

It's a magical tool that I like to call "Google". Plus, I've seen waaaay too much Danny Phantom.

"Obviously you have no life."

Now that just hurt.

"Good. I'm glad."

Ugh. Sometimes you're very frustrating, but I still love you, you fruitloop you.

*Vlad breathes heavily*

So, back to my original statement before Vlad interrupted. He's such a chatty Cathy.

"Now, don't you dare make fun of my sister!"

*Stores that sister info for future reference* Sure, Vlady. Anyways, this chapter, I'm interviewing the one, the only…MR. LANCER! Oh, and Bertrand. Let's hear the applause, people!

*Mr. Lancer walks into a deathly quiet room. He takes a seat. A few seconds later, Bertrand walks in, and there's enough applause to topple a tree. He sits next to Mr. Lancer. He's in his green, blob form.*

Wow, Bert. I didn't know you were so popular. Somebody has a big fan base!

"Why, thank you Navok."

Oooh. And polite, too. And here I thought you'd be sarcastic.

"…"

All right. That's it. Go into the other corner until you get your sarcasm back. Shoo!

*Bertrand sulkily gets out of his seat and goes to Vlad's corner. Vlad pushes him away, so Bertrand turns into a lion and eats him.*

You can eat him, Berty, as long as you spit him out at the end of the interview. I still need him for secretarial duties. Ha. "Duties".

"How many times has that joke been done before?"

Corner, Bertrand!

*Bertrand sulks*

Okay, so now I have the renowned Mr. Lancer here with me, and I'm just going to ask him a few nice questions that may make him feel comfortable. Preferable uneasy or filled with nausea.

*Lancer gulps*

So, Mr. Lancer, which question would you prefer we start off with? What's your first name, or who's your real sister? And those are just the tip of the glacier, people.

"I think you're referring to, 'It's the tip of the iceberg.'"

Don't you dare correct me, Lancer!

"_The Art of War_, don't snap at me like that! I'll take question number two."

…What is with you people and not wanting to reveal your real names? I mean, why don't you have actual first names to begin with?

"Number one: I'm a teacher. I do not need to be referred to by my first name. Secondly, I asked for the second question. You know, the one about my sister?"

What about her?

"I don't know. You're the one asking the question."

Hey, I just saw this awesome pun in the newspaper. You have to wait for me to get done with the question before you answer, 'kay, Lancer?

"…Um, okay?"

All right. So, someone from America is called an American, and someone for Russia is called a Russian, but what do you call a person from Finland?

"Finnish."

I did.

"What?"

Ha! It worked! People, that was courtesy of _Pearls Before Swine_. I don't usually read it, but that was funny.

"I'm afraid I don't get the pun."

Replace Finnish with finish.

"…Oooooooooh! That's actually rather clever. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE!"

Are you okay, Mr. L?

"Yes. I'm fine. It's just that sometimes I have to yell random book titles. It keeps me young and…fresh?"

Yeah, fresh works.

"Fresh then."

WHO'S YOUR SISTER?

"Well, funny story, actually. My sister is-"

Wait, before you say it. I want to build the suspense!

"You're probably going to forget and have to post it in the next chapter."

Do I look like I care?

*Lancer looks carefully at the most awesomest hostess ever…yes, awesomest* "No. You don't actually. I'm glad you're not in my class-WAR OF THE WORLDS!"

Okay, that's probably going to get annoying.

"Actually, you get used to it after a while."

All right. Well, now let's go with the first question. I hope it makes you feel uncomfortable and you have a funny name…like Bob.

"What's so funny about the name Bob?"

I don't know, actually. It's just that every time I hear it, I think of Bob the Builder, or an army of Bobs waiting to be controlled by me. You're a Bob, Vlad's a Bob…

"I am not!"

Don't worry, Vlad. The denial stage is only temporary. When you're cleaning my bunions, you'll know I'm telling the truth.

"Ha! You have bunions and you're only a teenager hostess! I hope you weren't hired by Disney Channel!"

Vlad, you're supposed to be in the corner keeping Bert company while I torture Lancer, and you're making it really hard to concentrate and keep up with who's talking in the quotes.

"Good. Always a pleasure to torture you, readers. Don't review. Maybe I won't have to come back."

Aww, Vlad. Be quiet! You know I'll torture you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever-

"THEY GET THE POINT! I'M GOING INTO MY CORNER NOW!"

Good…Fruitloop… So, anyway, Lancer, first name comma.

"Did you just say the word comma?"

Yes. Now, primero nombre, por favor!

"I'm an English teacher, for Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's sake! Speak English!"

NAME! Ugh, capital letters. You've betrayed me yet again…Big surprise.

*Looks around warily* "If you really want to know, will you please send that hideous green blob out of the room? He's creeping me out more than when Dracula watched John Harker shave." *shiver shiver shiver*

You heard him, Bertrand. Out you go. And, while you're outside, would you mind picking up Vlad's medication. *Whispers* He has some major potty problems.

"I DO NOT!...And if I did, how would _you_ know?"

Be quiet, secretary minion! Thank you, Dr. Bert Rand. Now, Mr. Lancer, Vlad's totally oblivious, and Bert is gone. What's your first name? I'm half-dying to know! (Puns make the world go round, don't they?)

"All right. My first name is…"

Wait!

"What?"

Oh, I just wanted the pause for dramatic effect.

"Scarlet Pimpernel, can't we get this over with? My name is Lawrence. *beams proudly* Lawrence "the Bookworm" Lancer. And I'm just so proud-" *sniffle*

All right, all right. Don't have a mental breakdown. I mean, that's not the worst name in the world. If you were something like "Latricia" or "Lgahjrwgojbeojoejo", then I would laugh.

"…How did you know?"

Know what?

"My name? How did you know my real name?"

Oh, geez. You mean your name's Lgahjrwgojbeojoejo?

"No, no, no. It's the other thing."

Latricia?...*Laughter erupts, just as a volcano engulfs the studio.* Yo, Bertrand, you promised not to erupt while you were here!

"Sorry. Couldn't help myself. Besides, without Penelope here, I'm just a pointless blob."

Well, at least you know what you are.

**It's been awhile since I updated, so I'll just post this so that it's there. I'll put Bertrand's interview, and maybe some more of Lancer, in the next chapter. Don't kill me!**

"**Please, PLEASE! Do what you must for the sake of my sanity!"**

**Vlad, stop it. It's unbecoming of a criminal, millionaire mastermind who sleeps with a blankie.**

"**You promised!"**

…**Okay, so I'm going to end this now before everyone gets completely out of chraacter. In the meantime, review!**

"**Butterflies!"**

…**Too late.**


	19. Partly Bertrand

**Okay, so it's been awhile since I last updated.**

"**Again."**

**Thanks for the help Vlad. Don't forget about your OOC problem. I can make it come back whenever I want. Anyway, I just wanted to put out the lame excuse that my computer was seriously out of use and I had to cope with the mechanisms of a new program. Okay. I'm done. Anything you wanted to add, Vlad?**

"**Yes."**

**Well, don't be shy (not that he ever could be). Spit it out!**

"**I...do...NOT sleep with a blankie!"**

**...Really? You seriously wanted to put that out there again? I thought you were going to remind everyone that Butch Hartman owns the show, Danny Phantom, from which this series of interviews was derived.**

"**Well, if you say so, I guess that's a load off my shoulders."**

**...WHY YOU-**

"**Rebecca, dear, sweet, weird Rebecca. Let's not forget that there are guests in your presence, and one of them is still in that corner, where you have left him for this entire month.**

Oooooh, yeah! Sorry, Bertrand. You can come over now. Lancer, switch places with Bertrand.

"_Catcher in the Rye_, but I haven't finished!"

Lancer! Move! Don't make me use my ghost powers on you...cuz I will, and then I will laugh, and then I will smack the ghost out of Vlad...because I can!

"How did that get in there? And why is our ex-mayor doing as your secretary, anyway?"

That's confidential information, Lancer. Now, quit testing my patience. You know I will do what I previously said, and I don't like repeating myself.

"But you haven't repeated yourself. Besides, you haven't finished my interview yet!"

...What do you mean-Aww, dang it! I forgot all about the sister thing!

"I told you! That's why you have to take notes. You forget things, and then you end up having to post it a month later when everyone has forgotten the plot of this, quite frankly, poorly written story. I mean, is there even a plot?"

I don't know. Why don't you ask Vlad?

"_Diary of a Wimpy Kid_!"

Okay, that's not even classical. You worry me sometimes, Latricia. But I will ask you about the sister thing...Why would you want me to pry into that business? I mean, if you dress up as your own sister, I'd think you'd be embarrassed about that!

"The reason is actually as simple as _The Little Prince!_"

Ugh. I hated that book. I mean, in the end *spoiler alert for anyone currently or about or planning to read _The Little Prince_* the little prince dies and joins his flower? How does that even make any sense?

"You obviously didn't get the deeper meaning of the novel. He realizes that he loves his flower and that it is his responsibility."

And then he dies from a snake bite. You know, Latricia, probably most of the readers out there will have no idea what _The Little Prince _is, so we might as well talk about Pony Polka or something.

"Yeah, like they'd know that any better."

Do you know it?

"No."

Then they'll know it. Now, about this sister...

"Yes, well, I do, in fact, have a sister. She looks just like me, I must say."

Ewww.

"The only thing is that she has the old belief that cameras will steal your soul."

...

"No need to drag it out like that! Anyway, I decided to dress up with her when I learned that teenage boys have a soft spot for all women, old or young."

You're really sick in the head. I hope you know that. Has this sister ever seen that picture.

"No. If she did, it would supposedly devour her soul."

Well, I guess you lucked out. What's her name? Is she Lawrence?

"...Yes, actually. You're almost as good as Moriarty."

Morariarty? What about Sherlock?

"Well, I doubt that you're the good guy. You're too devious!"

"Ha! Told you that no one likes you, Navok!"

Vlad! That hurt! And it hurt more when you said it, Latricia. Now, CORNER!

(The wail sends Lancer into the corner, but he doesn't get hurt because the wall is made of styrofoam) Come here, Berty!

"Y-yes, ma'am!"

Now, Berty, we have a little bit of time left.

"A little bit?" *Vlad interrupts* "You've wasted almost the entire interview on Lancer's sister and some little princess!

I hope you mean prince. Now, I wasn't talking to you, and it's seriously rude to interrupt.

"What are you going to do? Fire me?"

Actually, I was thinking about letting you go as my secretary, but I think I'll keep you on because of that little outburst.

"Aw, darn!"

So, Bertrand. You know, I didn't really picture you and Penelope together, but then, all of the sudden, there you guys were, right up there with Johnny and Kitten and Ember and Skulker (which was also slightly weird).

"Yes, well, after the whole "mucus" incident, I was the only backing Pen-pen up. It took forever to get that gunk off of her, and she was all cranky afterwards, but I still followed her every order."

Wow. That almost sounds pathetic...Wait a minute...It IS pathetic!

"Geez. Tough hostess. But it's the truth. After that, Pen-pen and I were together forever."

Pen-pen?

"Yes. That's my pet name for her. Don't most boyfriends give their girlfriends pet names?"

Yes, but I'm pretty sure that one of you is older than the other. By that, I mean you. I mean, you look fifty, and she must be twenty to thirty. Doesn't the age difference bother either of you a little bit?

"We're ghosts. I'm 3,876,498 years old, and, in all actuality, she's 7684,832,929,556,393,958 years old."

Whoah. Big number=hurt brain. Can you repeat that in word format?

"It's the quadrillions, if that's any help."

Geez. I didn't even know that was an actual number. Hey, won't Penelope be a little upset that you revealed her age?

"I think she'll be okay. We're in love!"

You overestimate your girlfriend. I bet she'll be here in the next two hundred words.

"Who's going to count that?"

My word counter will. We were at 1,020 when I wrote that. Don't worry. I'll keep you updated. Actually, Spectra might. So, how come you're a blob, and you never got into the whole "sucking youth out of misery" gig?

"Yes, the blob. Well, it all happened when Pistachio started pecking at me."

No way! He did that to you, too?

"He's a rather aggressive parrot. Anyway, I was a ghost then, so I decided to go intangible, but, when I finally got away from him, I found myself in Jell-o."

Golly!

"...Nice interjection. Anyway, when I got rid of the intangibility, I was a blob of green Jell-o. Be warned, all ghosts out there!"

...And the misery thing?

"Well, only Spectra can. Besides, I turn into a blob. If I cared about my appearance, don't you think I would have changed that part of my body system?"

I don't know. There are advantages to being Jell-o.

"Yeah? Well, you're not the one living with it."

I could always eat you. Heeheeheeeheehee.

"Why did you put three e's in there?"

Cuz I felt like it! Now, you know we missed our two hundred word marker?

"I told you she wouldn't come to beat me! She loves me!"

Stop twirling. I will eat you...or blast you into the styrofoam.

"Oooh, so threatening."

You remember that one episode where you turned into a ninja and did all those fancy moves? I really appreciated your enthusiasm for the fight then.

"Thanks. Sometimes I need a little appreciation."

I was lying. I actually laughed so hard when Danny just pulled out his thermos and sucked you in! I mean, really! Why didn't you just attack?

"I was trying to show off for Pen-pen!"

"Bertrand! HOW COULD YOU SAY MY AGE!"

Wow. Lots of exclamation points there. Pen-pen, you were about a hundred words late!

"Sorry. I didn't realize I had a schedule to keep. You mind if I beat the sense out of my so-called trustworthy boyfriend?"

Please, do. Just don't get it on the styrofoam. I don't like scraping Jell-o off of that stuff. It gets stuck there and then it makes holes...Actually, do whatever you want. I'll just have Vlad clean it up afterward.

"Thanks."

"HOW COULD YOU, SWEETIE?"

**Hey. Hate to say I warned him, but I did.**

"**No you didn't. You told him after he said she was quadrillion!"**

**Well, Vlad, maybe you should have warned him then.**

"**Whatever. You're impossible."**

**Anyway, I just want to say that to celebrate the twentieth chapter, and how close this story is to one hundred, I repeat, ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS, I'll be making a picture with all the interviewees thus far. It might take awhile, but I'm almost halfway done already! I just wanted to let you know that it'll be on my DeviantART account later on, and then as my avatar for a bit. A little forewarning though. The chapter will probably come out before the picture, since I don't have all my equipment available to me at the moment.**

"**You better capture my pony-tail the right way."**

**Oh, don't worry, Vlad, you'll look fine. Now, on another note, DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! Navok cookies to the hundredth reviewer!**

"**Please, don't review and let this story go into the FanFiction duds pile!"**

**Vlad...that hurt *sniffle***

"**Good. Now, I'm out!"**

**Wait, you have to clean the styrofoooooaaamm!**


	20. 20th Chapter Whoop Whoop Special

**All right! I'm back, and I've finally managed to finish the 20th Chapter Whoop-Whoop Special!**

"**Seriously, you are the most annoying creature that any universe in the entire galaxy has ever seen!"**

**Oh, poor, poor Vlad. Floating on an Asteroid for, like, ever, and you still don't know that the universe is bigger than a galaxy. Come on ladies and gents, let's give him a round of applause for his ignorance!**

***Applause track plays***

"**I loathe you!"**

**I love you, too, Vlad! That's why you'll be my secretary ****forever**** and ever and ever and ever and ever and-**

"**THEY GET THE POINT!"**

**My, oh my. Temper, Vladence.**

***Vlad gives me a confused, hateful look***

**So, since this is **_**another**_** special, this one's going to be super extremely long! 5,000 words, ladies and gentlemen!**

"**This is going to take forever to upload!"**

**And that's why my goal this go around is to use the word 'forever' twenty times!**

"**Ooooh. Daredevil, aren't we?"**

**Sarcasm duly noted. Now, before we go anywhere else, I want everyone to know that I do not own Danny Phantom or Fairly Oddparents, and I probably never will, but I will torture his characters forever!**

***Vlad starts the tally. Forevers=4* (We're starting from the underlined forever)**

"**Just so everyone knows, I'm not the bad guy out there. I'm warning you ahead of time that no one's going to review this because, 1) who's going to read 5,000 words in one chapter, and 2) who's going to even care about this fic after you being so horrible about uploading?"**

**I don't know Vlad, I don't know. But I trust my readers out there to review and get me past 100! It will be fantasmic!**

"**Just get rid of the bold. It's so annoying."**

**You're the Secretariet, you do it.**

"**All right, I will.** And by the way, Secretariet was a horse, not me."

Really, 'cuz I was so sure that you were a-

"This is not an interview, so stop talking to me!"

Oh, I can interview any time, and I will. Don't put it past me!

"...I put a frog in your breakfast this morning..."

YOU MONSTER! *The beautiful hostess goes running out of the room, heading to the bathroom to clean her tongue*

"*Evil chuckle* And she ate lunch and dinner too! Aww, it's so great to be evil."

_Silence_

"Ooooh. I guess I'm the hostess now!"

_Silence_

"*Clears throat* I meant host, of course."

_Silence_

"Soooo, how was your day?"

_Silence_

"Watch anything good on TV? Have a soda? Anything?"

_Silence_

"Geez, this is harder than I thought it would be. All I hear is-"

_Cricket Chirping_

"Ha! I heard that!"

_Silence_

"Awww, but you were just there! Don't tell me I'm the only one who heard those crickets...How'd they get in here, anyway?"

_Silence_

"Gaw! She's taking forever! Where is she?"

Looks like someone's talking to themselves!

"Whoah! How'd you get behind me! I'm sitting in a cubicle!"

I'm a half-ghost, coast-to-coast, remember? And, by the way, those were ecto-crickets, a new breed that I'm creating...

"You're not smart enough to tie your boots, let alone create a new breed of anything!"

Okay, first off, how was I supposed to know that boots don't have shoelaces?

"Please, don't get me started."

And second, they love Vlad pony tails. They're probably staking the studio out to see when they can get at that pony tail of yours.

*Gasp* "Not the pony tail!"

Run, Simba. Run, and never come back!

*Vlad runs away, covering his pony tail*

Hahahaha! ...Everything about this was pretty out of character for Vlad...OMG! What is he planning? He'd better not pie me at the end of this! I mean, he's never this easy to manipulate! OMG, I'm so worried now!

*Plasmius* "You should be!"

'!

*Appearing in cubicle as soon as the gorgeous hostess leaves* "This is going to be too easy! I'm finally going to get back at her for all those interviews of humiliation and complete humiliation...And, you dear reader. Don't think I won't come after you, too. Bwahahahahaha!"

0.o

_An Interview With Danny Phantom (Featuring Timmy Turner)_

OMG OMG OMG! I'm such big fans you guys! Let me introduce you to the audience, even though I'm the one you want to talk to. Audience, say hello to Daniel Phantom!

"**Hey, what's up?"**

He's the one in bold, because I love him.

"Hey, what about me?"

I don't really care about you so much, and, besides, the is the Danny Phantom universe. Timmy Turner is the one in quotes because, even though he's cute, he's only ten.

"Danny's only four years older than me!"

"**Actually, I was invented after you by quite a few years, so I think Timmy's the older one now. Technically, he should be twenty right now."**

"Ew."

"**And I'm supposed to be...wait, I think I added up wrong. I'm still older than Timmy!"**

Oh, Danny, even though math isn't your strongest subject, it's so cute when you try to add! You'd be twenty-one now in my world!

***Trying to count on his fingers, duplicates, counts on their fingers* "Huh, I guess you're right."**

"Ah, geez, is this gonna be some kind of fangirl show? I hate those!"

...Are you dissing Danny?

"So what if I am?"

Well, I have ghost powers. I can crush you like a bug!

"**Then I'd have to stop you."**

Awww, but Danny...

"**I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be an interview. At least, that's what Bearbert told me."**

Oh, yeah, you should know...Bearbert got fired.

"**What? But Jazz said he came to work for you and you were paying him in candy canes!"**

Well, he got really annoying. I mean, he couldn't appreciate the awesomeness that is Rebecca Navok!

"And I'm told that I'm conceited."

Oh, you are, but we'll get to you later. Anyway, I threw Bearbert into the nearest city dump where he's probably being melted down into tiny little beary parts, and, long story short, Vlad works for me.

"**Vlad Masters?"**

Is there another?

"**...Yeah. Vlad Plasmius..."**

Doh!

"Haha. Even I knew that. Who's not from the Danny Phantom universe?"

At least now I know why Bearbert invited you. He wanted to torture me with your high squeaky voice that is actually kinda adorable. I mean, I want to make fun of you, I really do, but I can't! It's like, there's some outside force preventing me from going over a certain insult line!

"Yeah. I saw your past interviews, so I may have done a few things to prevent the same horrible failures from happening to me. They're gonna rub off on Danny, though, so he's not safe."

"**What?"**

What?

"Ya heard me!"

You mean I'm gonna insult Danny?

"Every time you want to insult me."

Aww, man!

"So, please, continue with your interviewing!"

I need a lawyer.

"Shouldn't you have one? I mean, your a hostess. Doesn't that mean you get some really cool agent with special sunglasses and everything?"

Shows what you know...Fenturn!

"**Hey, I didn't say anything!"**

OMG, I'm so sorry. *Takes deep breath* All right. Interview time, and this one's going to be legit.

"What were the other nineteen interviews?"

Nunya.

"Oh, cute. Nunya Business. Lucky you you don't have to finish that little insult. Nice loophole."

Thanks. Now, Daniel-

"**Everyone calls me Danny."**

But Daniel's so professional!

"**...What were you saying earlier about hiring Vlad? Does that mean he's here?"**

Like I know what that fruitloop's doing.

"**Sheesh. That means I'm going to have to be watching my back throughout this entire thing, doesn't it?"**

Umm, you're a ghost. Just go intangible. That's how I handle Vlad on most days.

"**Yeah, but I really don't feel like it. It's too much work."**

Speaking of intangibility, many of your ghost villains-

"**That you interact with on a daily basis and makes me more than slightly uncomfortable, yes."**

...Have mentioned time and again that many of your seemingly thirty minute fights could've taken more like ten seconds if you had used your ghost powers more and stayed intangible throughout the entire thing. How do you respond?

"**Wow. You got that interviewing thing down pat, don't you?"**

I do believe I asked you a question, Mr. Phantom.

"**Okay, well, as you probably know, my show is licensed by a network, for TV and all."**

I'm aware.

"Yeah, me too. It's not that unusual in FanFiction."

"**...Anyway, during the actual fights that the show is based on, I usually win in, like, five seconds, but the show needs more suspense, so they lengthened the fights to fit the show. I actually think it works out nicely."**

So you've never been beaten up by the ghosts on the Danny Phantom television show?

"**Of course not!"**

We shall see. I'm tape recording these, just so everyone knows.

"**Great."**

Next question. How come there was never a Timmy/Danny Power Hour? That would have been so totally awesome!

"**Don't ask me. He's the one who refused that little enterprise."**

What? Timmy, how could you?

"Do I look like I can put up with ghosts? I have anti-fairies, pixies, and Jorgen in my universe! Don't you think I have enough to deal with?"

But you did that Jimmy/Timmy Power Hour...3!

"Yeah, but Jimmy doesn't have all those super powered villains. All he has is mad scientists and stuff like that, and I know how to handle smart people."

Well, I'm smart!

"...Hahahahahahahahaha! Nice! Best joke I've heard all day!"

Can we just skip to the end of this interview when you learn some valuable lesson.

***Danny and Timmy together* "It doesn't work that way!"**

Oh, right, well, next question for Danny.

"Hey, I want some questions too!"

How's your relationship with Sam going?

"I don't really like being ignored!"

Talk to your Fairy Godparents!

"Excuse me?"

*Blurts out* Danny, your hair's too spiky and you need a British accent!

"**What?"**

...Australian works, too.

...

_We interrupt this program for a special announcement from our sponsors._

_Have you ever become invisible? Are you having trouble with going up and down stairs because you seem to just float down to the bottom no matter where you are (unless you're going down an elevator)? Has a ghost alarm ever started blaring right in your face? Are you being attacked by paranormal beings?_

_Then you might be a ghost!_

_That's right, a ghost!_

_Let's say it one more time. A ghost!_

_Have any or all of these symptoms have been plaguing you, then don't wait for a ghost to pummel you into a wall! Call 555-5556! That's 555-5556! And we will repeat this number, so be sure to grab your paper and pen to copy it down while we fill in the time with pointless advertising! And yes, we're paid to sound excited about our product._

_Oh, right, we forgot to tell you what the product is. Well, listen to this, then get that paper and pen during the disclaimer. It's not that important anyway, and no one can understand that fast talk._

_Going ghost bothering you? Well, fear not, because Plasmius Asteroidea Enterprises has invented the best solution to ever be put on an ad!_

_Introducing..._

_The Ghost Bee Gone!_

_A spray that releases thousands of ecto-absorbing bees that are sure to take care of that little ghoulish problem you've been having lately._

_That's right! No more powers, and the process is next to painless...for the ecto-bees..._

_Side effects have been known to occur. Some of the possibilities are ecto-worms, confusion, dizziness, stars where stars should not be, a need to eat ecto-cake, and incessant nagging. If your ghost powers come back, then consult a Vlad near you. If the bees don't disappear in two weeks, consult a Vlad near you. If you're not sure if the product's working or not, wait two weeks, then consult a Vlad near you._

_Other side effects include but are not limited to: forgetfulness of name, math in the air, walking in high heels, desire for pizza and popcorn, need to watch Danny Phantom on television, desire to go rock climbing, and so, soooo much more._

_If any problems occur that are serious, please consult a Vlad near you. If they're mild, keep it to yourself. The Vlad near you does not want to hear about how the stinging hurts and all the other nonsense._

_Again, that number is 555-5556. That's 555-5556._

_And remember, the Vlad near you is located in Wisconsin, and should be allowed to own the Packers. Thank you, and have a nice day._

_Back to your schedule programming._

_And yes, Vlad is that rich to interrupt all your scheduled programs, yet he still can't own the Packers._

_..._

"**How'd we get on the topic of kiwis?"**

Beats me. Timmy?

"How should I know? I was spacing out there for a sec. Sorry."

No prob, since I can't insult you. Just wait until I go over to your universe. Then even Jorgen won't be safe!

"We'll see about that. Besides, no way you come over there!"

...Where were we? Oh, yeah, Danny and Sam. Always a topic of controversy.

"**Seriously? Who's controversing?"**

Trixie Tang, for one.

"Wait, what?"

Yeah. She started a fanclub and everything!"

"Nooooo!"

Man, I should've invited Cosmo and Wanda here while I had BB at it. I mean, how many cross-universes are we gonna get in one story?

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Where were we? I always get so distracted during these interviews.

"Maybe you should do some more planning."

Danny, answer the Sam and you question!

"**Well, I guess we're doing fine. We go out just about every day-"**

*Gasp*

"**And we enjoy walks in the park-"**

*Faints*

"**And we've even kissed a bit here and there."**

*Plays dead*

"Awesome, Danny! I think we're done!"

"**Uh, what just happened?"**

"Beats me, but I'm outta here!" *Timmy runs to the door. Just as he's about to pass through, bars fall down right in front of him.* "Whah!"

Not so fast, Timmy Turner!

"Oh, great. Now she's quoting my arch-nemeses!"

"**Ooh. Nice word."**

"Yeah. I've actually started paying attention in class. You wouldn't believe how much that helps when it comes to crossword puzzles."

"**Maybe I should try that."**

We're not done with this interview.

"Weren't you playing dead just a few seconds ago?"

Danny-

"Oh, come on! When am I gonna get some questions! I feel like a third wheel in this universe! See, this is exactly why we didn't do the Danny/Timmy Power Hour thing."

It was Timmy/Danny.

"Whatever."

Anyway, one last question for Danny...Maybe.

"**All right."**

You're so nice, answering all these questions so calmly!

"**Ummm...Thanks?"**

Anyway, how do you expect to be an astronaut when you're failing high school?

"**I have a C+ average."**

Seriously? You improved it!

"**Besides, I'm going to be a sophomore. I have time to bump my GPA and everything. And Sam's tutoring me!"**

Ugh, not her again.

"Hey, how did Trixie find out about Danny anyway? I mean, we're in completely separate universes!"

Oh, I might have showed a few episodes.

"Can you do that with Trudy, Vicky's sister?"

Yeah, right. I'm not about to ruin that little funness!

"Aww, man!"

"**Is it just me, or is this interview taking a long time?"**

Like, forever?

"**Yeah, forever is a good word."**

"Seriously, though, this thing really is lasting forever!"

Yay! I just got three more forevers! Oh, wait, make that four!

"Huh?"

"**I'm kinda lost."**

So, Timmy-

"**And now she's ignoring me."**

Oh, Danny, I could never ignore you!

"I think someone has a crush on you, Danny!"

Thanks for stating the obvious, Timmy. I'll have you know, I kissed Danny once.

"**What?"**

Oh, wait, that was in an alternate universe. Dang it!

"Hahahahahahaha!"

Thanks for the support, Timmy. Now, for your first question...Can you put your foot behind your head like a monkey?

"Well-Wait, what?"

ALLITERATION!

"**And, you lost me."**

Well, alliteration is when you use the same consonant at the beginning of each word, all in one sentence. For example, *clears throat* Forever fainting from feigning affection.

"Affection doesn't start with an F."

Yeah, but your last test does...Danny!

"**Can you undo whatever you did to her, please?"**

"Nah, I'm cool."

Don't sass me, Timmy!

"Now that was random. By the way, you still haven't asked me any good questions."

Well, you still haven't answered my first one.

"Let me answer your question with another question."

Oooh, profoundness.

"Yeah, okay. Can you put your foot back behind your head like a monkey?"

Of course I can!

"Prove it."

All right, you asked. *Sticks leg out straight, tapping Timmy's nose, slowly raises it, then puts it behind head*Good thing I'm wearing pants today.

"Eeeew! You touched my nose with your boot!"

Since when were you a germaphobe?

"Since you touched my nose with your boot! Ugh, who knows where that's been!"

Oh, oh, I do! It's been to the park, the mall, school...oooh, then I had an incident with some gum on the ground. You might want to go wash that nose up, Timmy.

*Timmy runs to the bathroom.*

So, Danny-

"**I'm dating Sam, you know that, right?"**

Aw.

"**Now, what was that you were saying, forever ago, at the beginning of the interview? Vlad's here?"**

Haven't we been over this before?

"**Not in detail. I mean, how are you keeping him here? Hasn't he cloned you or blasted your brains out or anything?"**

He's tried, but that really didn't work out for him.

"**So, how are you handling him and not letting him run on a rampage?"**

I have an army of hamsters right outside the studio that follow him everywhere.

"**...What?"**

An army of hamsters. They follow Vlad.

"**So, are they stalkers, or are you?"**

What? No! It's not like I have an army of monkeys following you! Where would you get such a strange idea?

"**I didn't say anything about monkeys."**

Yes you did.

"**What did I say?"**

...

"**Okay, enough with the dots. You obviously have monkeys following me. You are a stalker!"**

... Hey, look who's out of the bathroom. Hi Timothy.

"Um, what just happened?"

"**This one's been stalking me! As if I don't have enough fangirls now that everyone knows that Danny Fenton is Danny Phantom!"**

Seriously?

"**Wait, you didn't know?"**

...Maybe...

"Wow. She's kinda dim, isn't she? Now, what was that about fangirls?"

"**Oh, it's incredible. Every time I step outside of FentonWorks, there they are! It's like they stand out there forever! Don't these people have lives?"**

Danny, they admire you!

"**Now you're sounding like Sam, but she doesn't like it when we go to Nasty Burger and the girls are drooling all over me...and our food."**

"Did you say girls?"

Did you say drooling on your food?

"**Yes, and yes."**

"How do you get the girls?"

How do you eat your food after that?

"**Well, I guess saving the world and having a show named after you works out pretty well."**

Plus, you're hot, for a cartoon character.

...

All right, no need for the pauses, guys.

"**And when they drool on my food, I kinda just give it to them."**

FREE FOOD! Speaking of which, feels like I haven't eaten in forever. Want to head over to the Nasty Burger?

"But you haven't even asked me any questions!"

"**And I have plans with Sam after this."**

Party poopers.

"Questions!"

Why do you want me to ask you questions? Isn't the goal of the person being interviewed to be asked as few questions as possible so that they don't reveal their secrets?

"I have no secrets!"

Ooooh, you just made the biggest mistake of your life.

"What? What did I say?"

Just wait. Fine, Timmy, I'll ask you some questions. Question number one: how does it feel to be voiced by a girl?

***Danny snickers***

"W-what kind of question is that?"

A question. It starts with an interrogative word and ends with a question mark.

"W-well, l-lots of little boys are voiced by girls. Otherwise, puberty sets in, and then the company has to get new voices, and no one wants to do that."

Hmm, smart answer.

"This doesn't make me any less girly...Wait, that didn't come out right!"

But you said it! Bwahahaha!

"I want another question!"

I was ready to ask you another one. Bwahaha!

"That evil laugh really suits you right now."

"**I hate to say it, but I kinda agree with Timmy here."**

Aww. Anyway, next question. This is question number two, Timmy.

"I may be ten and bad at math, but I can count to two."

Heheh. Tutu. Anyways, why don't you like Tudy?

"Vicky's sister."

Yep.

"Two reasons. One, she's Vicky's sister. Do I want to be tortured by Vicky? NO!"

And what's the second reason?

"She's obsessive and a stalker."

Am not!

"**He wasn't talking about you."**

Oh. Okay, and last question. Number three.

"Only three?"

Do you have fairy godparents who's names are Cosmo and Wanda?

"Um, duh! I mean, the show's called Fairly Oddparents. Ain't that hard of a stretch."

"_Timmy Turner!"_

What's that I hear? Could it be...Jorden VonStrangle?

"What? Why's he here? Did you invite him over?"

"_You have revealed the secret of your fairy godparents!"_

I love his accent. So...foreign!

"_Now they will be taken away from you...for the second or third time. I don't know. I lost count somewhere in the middle of the series."_

"No! I thought everyone knew and I could tell! There has to be an exception!"

*_Jorgen pops up in the middle of the two guests and the best host who should be interviewing ghosts forever!* "Oooh! Are you Rebecca Navok?"_

Um, yeah?

"_Oh, I love your show! The way you torture your guests like that...It's where I learn all the stuff I use on Binky."_

"Poor Binky."

"_Right, Timmy Turner. I will now erase your memory and take away your fairy godparents!"_

"What? But she tricked me!"

"_Meh. You should have known better. I mean, we've only been going on about this forever."_

"**Seriously, though. Your forcing that word usage, Navok. And Jorgen, you shouldn't just erase his memories! Give him another chance!"**

"_Oh, don't worry. I'm going to erase your memory, too!"_

What about me?

"_Will you stop doing the interviews if I do?"_

...Yes.

"_Then you can keep your memories!"_

Yes! Now I get another chance at Danny?

"**What?"**

_*Jorgen uses the Men in Black thingee and flashes it at Danny.*_

"I'm gonna get you for this! Never come into my universe!"

_*Jorgen flashes the thingee at Timmy.* "I'll take care of these two. Just keep up the good work, Navok!" *Jorgen flashes out.*_

Hmm, you find friends in all places, don't you?

_Back in the Present: The Magnifi-tastic Host is Searching Everywhere for Vlad When the Interview Stops_

Wow. Guess that's it. I really should invite those two back at some point. I didn't mock Timmy's voice nearly enough. Of course, he did wish for me to insult Danny instead of him. *Evil laugh* That's what he gets for wishing that. Now he's gone!

"You are so evil."

Oh, Vlad, you're back. Wait, VLAD! DON'T PIE ME!

"I've taught you well. Maybe I should give up on Danny and take you in to be my apprentice."

Ha. No one wants that, Vlad. Not even me.

"Then you asked for it. I'm going to pie you know."

Noooo! I hate cleaning that stuff out of my hair!

"3. -"

Oh, my gawsh! Stop! You're hurting my brain! I'd rather have pie!

"I told you I was going to pi you."

You spelled it differently!

"Oh. Well, you know, I was never good at math _or_ spelling, now that I think about it."

You know what the worse part is?

"That I have to put up with you on a daily basis?"

No.

"That Daniel told everyone that he beats ghosts in about five seconds, which is a flat out lie?"

No.

"Then what?"

I still have 1,000 words to go!

"So, you mean we're just going to stall until you get to your goal? That's going to take forever, you-you-you...FRUITLOOP!"

Geez. No need to get rude. Besides, on the bright side, we're just about done with the forevers.

"Like anyone else is going to help you with that goal."

We'll see. *Evil look*

"Are you sure you won't take up an apprenticeship?"

With you? No way, Jose!

"Who's Jose?"

Oh, I know a few Joses. They can be really nice.

"Hmm...This is really bad stalling. I hope you know that."

Well, it's not like you've got anything better.

"Oh, I do."

So? Don't leave me hanging! What is it?

"I interrupted your interview with Danny and Timmy."

YOU DID WHAT?

"Not 'what'. I interrupted. You can't 'what'."

Cute, Vlad.

"Don't worry. I put the entire interview up. I put a commercial in."

But no one likes commercials! Ask anyone who's been on YouTube, tries to watch a video, and gets some random commercial about juice! I wanted to watch a music video, for Pete's sake!

"Who's Pete?"

Friends with Jose.

"Ah, I see."

No, no you don't.

"Anyways, the commercial was for a very special product that I'm certain you'll be interested to hear about."

Is it shampoo?

"Why would I do a commercial about shampoo?"

*Shrugs* You have a pony tail.

"...Point taken. But the answer's still no."

Was it for free kittens?

"I AM NOT SELLING MADDY, FOR THE NTH TIME!"

I'm telling you, that cat would be worth a lot, and you need to start talking to real women, not cats!

"First, Danny tells me to get a cat. Well, I've gotten a cat (not that he knows), and now you tell me to get rid of the cat!"

Because you have a pony tail!

"What has that got to with anything?"

It has everything to do with anything! It ends with thing!

"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!"

DON'T YELL AT ME! YOU KNOW CAPS HURT MY HEAD!

"I'LL YELL ALL I WANT. DON'T LIKE IT, FIRE ME!"

I WON'T DO THAT!

"WHY NOT?"

BECAUSE I LIKE TORTURING YOU!

*Vlad takes a deep breath. A really deep breath. Seriously, it lasted-*

"Don't write that word!"

What word?

"That word!"

Which one? There's a lot in the English vocabulary, you know.

"Would you like me to spell it out for you?"

That would be helpful, since it counts just as much as saying it.

"Then I won't spell it."

You were saying something about a commercial.

"Oh...right..."

I'm waiting.

"Well, it's called the Ghost Bee Gone. That's bee, as in yellow and black stripes."

LIke a wasp?

"...Sure. Like a wasp."

And...

"Well, I was really hoping to get fired today."

...Okay. That's not a weird thing to hear from an employee.

"I'm a millionaire. Like I care about working. I can just go ghost and rob a bank or something."

Thanks for telling me your plan, Vlad. I'll be sure to call you in first thing tomorrow. Not to be arrested. I have my own special brand of punishment. *Insert evil laugh here*

"Look, I've been planning this, so just let me have my moment."

Fine. Go right on ahead. *Sits down on the floor* By the way, we've been done with that word for awhile now.

"You mean we're done with the forevers?"

Heheh. Now we are.

"...Doh!"

Gotcha good, didn't I?

"This is exactly why I've been trying to quit!"

You're such a whiny baby.

"Listen, the Ghost Bee Gone is a product that I've whipped up especially for you."

I'm touched that you think of me outside of work, if not slightly disgusted.

"I told you to listen!"

*Whispers* Fruitloop.

"THAT'S IT! I'M LETTING OUT THE ECTO-BEES NOW!"

Ecto-bees? But you know I'm allergic to- Oh, gawsh, here they come! !

"That was wonderful noise. Like music to my ears."

Hey, Fruitloop! I'm coming towards you! *The smartest hostess in the entire universe (not galaxy, Vlad, UNIVERSE!) runs toward Vlad with the swarm of ecto-bees following her. At the last minute, she tuns intangible and goes through Vlad, disappearing from the building.*

"Oh, fudge nuggets." *Swarm of bees start swarming around Vlad*

Well, I don't want to see how this ends.

_Twelve Hours Later_

I lied. I totally want to see what happens to Vlad! It's gonna make my day. Hey, why is my studio so dark? Hmm, guess Vlad turned off the lights while he was being stung by that swarm. How sweet!...Still not gonna be his apprentice, though.

"YOU!"

Oh no! Capital letters!

"You thought you'd taken away my powers, didn't you?"

Um, no. I just thought you got attacked by a swarm of bees and were probably buying away all your problems like you usually do.

"...No. I did that yesterday."

Oh.

"I managed to escape those ecto-bees with Vlad's Patented Ghosts Bee Gone Repellant...the actual patent pending."

Um...

"But I did get stung a few times. However, I am too strong for a bee sting or two."

How about an ecto-bee?

"Same difference."

Geez, I hate that saying.

"Anyway, down to the bottom point. I had to pay for those nasty little stingers to get pulled out."

Aww, boo hoo...That was sarcasm, by the way.

"My powers are weakened now."

Oooh. You really shouldn't have told me that. It just gave me all sorts of interviewing ideas.

"I don't think so. You signed this."

_Reads: I, Rebecca Navok, hereby say that if any of my secretaries ever get stung by a swarm of ecto-bees, I will be their apprentice, whether I like it or not._

...When did I sign this?

"Yesterday, when I gave you all that ice cream. You really didn't care what you were signing."

Wait, so I'm your apprentice now?

"Yes."

...Are you still my secretary?

"Yes."

Ooooh. I'm sensing to FanFictions at the same time! ...Ugh. I'm too busy for this!

"Too bad. A contract is a legally binding contract, and you have to work for me until my powers get back to full strength."

Worse. 20th. Chapter. Whoop. Whoop. Special...EVER!

"**Bwahahahahaha!"**

**All right, guys, I guess you'll have to be on the alert for the first chapter of my apprenticeship with Vlad. Word of advice, always look at what your signing.**

"**Everyone knows that."**

**I didn't!**

"**Because your dumb and idiotic and ignorant-"**

**Enough Vlad. Anyway, please review guys! Give any suggestions and whatever else you like. Until next time, this has been Rebecca Navok!**


	21. Clockwork

**Hello, boys, girls. Aren't you glad I'm back?**

"**No, no, definitely not."**

**No one cares about your opinion, Vladimir!**

"**She's just upset because I completely own her in the upcoming series **_**that she's going to have to post eventually!"**_

**Seriously? Italics? This is just supposed to be a disclaimer, Vlad.**

"**Well, with you…"**

**I do not own Danny Phantom. Now, guess who's come to play today?**

"**Please, don't say Barney."**

**Aw, geez, Vlad! Now look what you've done!**

"**Huh? What?"**

**I have to put Barney in the disclaimer, too, 'cuz of you.**

***Insert Vlad's evil laugh* "Glad to be of such assistance."**

**Well, you say it now!**

"**Fine. We here at InuApril Studios do not own Danny Phantom."**

**You forgot Barney, ya fruitloop!**

"**Or Barney. There, now you've made an incredibly long disclaimer that I'm positive no one will appreciate. I hope you're happy."**

Yes, actually. Now, who do we have to torture during this timeslot?

"Um, Clock…work…"

Okay, how'd you manage to mispronounce that? Isn't it enough with those automated phone services where you have to say your name, like, a thousand bajillion times?

"I'm not good at math, but that isn't a number. You just made it up."

Just bring Clockwork in!

"Well, he's not here yet."

What? But his name is Clockwork!

"Yes, and you'd think he'd be on time, wouldn't you? Such as misleading title."

"Time is relative!"

Whoah, voice from the sky! I've always wanted to interview one of those!

"Actually, that was Clockwork, that tardy-bug."

"And it's not from the sky. I'm standing right in front of you."

Are you sure, because all I see is air.

"I'm not even intangible."

I'm telling you, there's nothing there! *Starts making as though hitting the air in front, but really poking Clockwork*

"All right, you've had your fun, now stop poking me."

I don't know what you're talking about.

"Haven't you heard that a joke can get old rather quickly? Some comedian. I'd heard you were funny."

*Stops poking* Okay, CW. I've decided that my goal during this interview will be to break your calm façade.

"And that's different from your normal interviews, how exactly?"

Do you like eggs?

"I suppose."

Because I'm gonna crack you like one.

"…Wow. So clever."

So, CW.

"Call me Clockwork."

Yeah, I don't think so. Anyway, what's up with the phasing? One second your old, the next your young, the next you're a cute wittle baby! Gootchy gootchy goo!

"I will not answer your question when your making a face like a gorilla."

Actually, that was my guppy face, but…"

"I know what it was."

…Well, answer?

"You don't want to know."

Actually, I really do. And don't you, my fantabulous readers?... I heard a yes!

"Well, due to the complex systems of time in the omega region, and my imperialistic domain over all time related events, I am forever morphing from one era to another while simultaneously simulating a form in the time which I prefer to remain. Ergo, I am all time at once, forever changing, always unpredictable, and never in the same place at once. Did that answer your question?"

…What's the omega region?

"Now that's Dr. Who's territory. I'll let him answer it. Oh, wait, he won't. Not to you, anyway."

What about your medals? Why do you leave them out in the open in your cave?

"It allows me to easily put them on time travelers."

But it's so out in the open. A passerby could just slip by and take one while you're out-

"I know when a petty thief is going to come in and try to get my medallions. You'll try, and, believe me, that does not work. I'm the ghost of time."

…Wow. I just got burned.

"Word" *Crosses arms*

Ack! My eyes! My eyes! Please, don't ever do that again!

*Uncrosses arms* "No guarantees. Now, please, continue with your interview."

All right. Phew. So, do you and Dan ever talk? You know, since he's trapped in a thermos and all that.

"That's confidential information."

Yeah? Well, I'm making it unconfidential.

"You can't do that."

My story, my rules.

_**Actually, my rules!**_

Oh, right. Sorry InuApril!

_**It's okay. But do it again, and I'll give you acne.**_

-

_**Just get on with the interview!**_

Right! Anyway, deal is, you have to tell me, or else I'll start bringing out the tape recordings.

"What tape recordings?"

Ha! And here I was, thinking you knew everything, like when a petty thief's supposed to come-

"TIME OUT!"

*Navok freezes*

"There we go. I wasn't sure if I could stand anymore of that high-pitched squeaky voice. Now, to find those recordings of which she spoke. I'll worry about how got passed my security later. Those Observants-"

Looking for these? *Another Navok enters the room, flashing in behind Clockwork, waving the tapes. She's wearing a medallion wrapped around her hair, forming a ponytail*

"But, how-"

What? You don't think I'm smart enough to use my ghost powers to duplicate myself, plan a series of distracting interviews to nab your fickle attention, invite you over-twice-, while I snatch recordings of your so-called "psychiatric sessions" with Dan? Come on! I'm a hostess extraordinaire!

"But when did you place-"

The tape recorder? When you sent me to that future, which took up three of my precious chapters, by the way!

"So-"

Yes. I'm that smart. In fact, Harvard-

"Would you stop interrupting me with your show-offy ability to finish another being's sentences!"

Well, look who's interrupting now, hmm? Anyway, let's listen to these recordings.

Recording 1: Clockwork and Dan

"And who are we feeling tonight, Dan?"

Squashed.

"Well, if you hadn't gone parading through time, trying to destroy the world, the you wouldn't be in this situation right now. You know that, don't you?"

No.

"What do you mean, no?"

If you hadn't interfered, like always, I'd be on top of the world, a world made from my vision. So don't talk to me about how it's my fault that I'm stuck in here when it's obviously yours.

"What about Danny Phantom, your good, somehow less deceptive half?"

Lucky. He would have become me. Once again, though, you interfered.

"So you blame entirely for your predicament?"

Yeah. That's pretty much what I just said.

*Long awkward pause*

"Listen, Dan, I need your help."

What? Wait, is this one of your tricks again? I'm evil, if you had forgotten.

"Evil and suave. See, I have this date with this girl, and she has a BFFL that wants to come along. So, how does a little double-date sound to you?"

*Another long, even more awkward pause*

"Well?"

I'm sorry, it's just that there were so many things in that paragraph that I never thought I'd hear you say. Ever. BFFL is at the top of the list.

"Fine, I'll just take the Box Ghost."

No, I'm coming.

"Good. Now, don't destroy the world. And try to make a good impression."

What has the world come to, where you'd think I'd try to destroy the world?

End of Recording 1

This-This has to be fake.

"It is."

No. No, it came specifically from your cave! How could you have gotten Dan-

"Let's just say that he hates you more than he hates me. And that's saying something, considering you've never really interviewed him, except in that alternate universe.

So that means-

"I do know everything. What? You think I'm not smart enough to use your hugely enhanced ego to spring a trap and embarrass you in front of your entire audience by having you play a tape recording that is obviously out of character? I'm a time lord extraordinaire!"

I hate it when my words are used against me. Curse you word plaaaaaaa-

"TIME OUT!"

*Both Navoks are now frozen*

"I also know how to pause only one person so that you think your duplicate is actually immune."

"Hey, I just finished running from the store and…You froze both Navoks, didn't you?

"Yes, Vlad."

"Can you leave her that way until next week…or month?"

"Absolutely."

"…Want some eggs."

"Sure."

**Grrr! I'll get you CW, and that little Vlad too! Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm working on the story of my apprenticeship to Vlad, and when it comes out, it's gonna be called "Half-Ghost Stories". I'm trying to make it halfway decent, so it may take awhile, but believe me, I am working on it.**

"**I'm making her live under a cupboard."**

**Go away Vlad! Anyway, please review! Sorry for the long wait before the update-**

"**Don't try to rhyme. You're not any good at it."**

**Make me some eggs!**

"**Hey, I'm not the apprentice here!"**

**No, but you are the secretary. So go! And please, review you guys! Suggestions and comments are always welcome, and don't be afraid to repeat yourself, because I have a horrible memory! That's why I need Vlad here to be my secretary. Bwahahahaha-**

"**End the interview already!"**


	22. Christmas in Summer

**All right! Merry Christmas, everyone!**

"…**It's summer."**

**Well, I'm the author of this fic, and I say that it's Christmas time.**

"**Christmas in summer it is, I guess. You and your mood swings."**

**I'd like to thank Lani's Tamer-chi for the idea, and, while I'm at it, I don't own Danny Phantom.**

"**You do know that she posted that review more than seven months ago, don't you?"**

**Oh, now you decide to keep track of my stuff. You're a horrible secretary.**

"**Just doing my job."**

**Anyway, onto the (many) interviews! At once! Yay!**

FentonWorks

Thanks for the lift, Vlad! I'll catch up with you later!

"Grumblegrumblegrumblegrumble…"

Hmm, must be the cold summer weather. Anyway, Merry Christmas, Fentons! Allow me to change the format so everyone out there can see who's saying what!

Jazz: What are you doing here? It's summer. You're two seasons off!

Me: I get to do whatever I want. This is my fic, after all…I feel like I've already said that.

Jack: Becky, my gal!

Me: …Great. I've replaced Vlad in his mind.

Maddie: If I'd known we were going to have a visitor, I would have cleaned the downstairs up a bit.

Me: Hm, a normal statement. I'm impressed.

Danny: Why do I feel like I recently had some sort of interview with you and some buck-toothed kid named Timmy?

Me: Jorgen VonStrangle, you've betrayed me again!

Danny: So, you've come here for a Christmas interview?

Me: Yeppidee doo dah.

Jazz: She thinks she can manipulate the seasons just because she's the hostess of one FanFiction. In my opinion, that gives her schizophrenia and all sorts of other mental illnesses that should be treated if she wants to get anywhere in life. Furthermore-

Me: No one cares about your psychoanalysis, Jazz.

BB: Actually, I'd love to hear Jasmine.

Jazz: Bearbert! I thought you had run away!

Me: Okay, one: you were supposed to be psychoanalyzing me? Two: I thought you'd run into a garbage truck outside the studio or something.

BB: You'd like that, wouldn't you?

Me: Yes. Yes I would. Now, why was I here again…

Danny: Some sort of interview, right?

Me: Oh, yes! So, it's Christmas-

Maddie: Honey, I think you're confused-

Me: AND HOW ARE you handling things, Danny?

Danny: What do you mean?

Me: Well, you're really famous now, cancelled, but famous.

Danny: You had to bring that up.

Jack: Hey, how come our network never shows our Christmas special? They always put the stuff from who knows when, but what are we?

Me: I'm the one asking the questions…What Jack said, Danny.

Jazz: I can answer that. You see-

Me: Never mind. I don't care anymore. Back to Danny's fame thing and all that.

Danny: Well, since it isn't really Christmas…

Me: PRETEND IT IS!

Danny: Whoah. Um, okay, so, the other day I was out fighting Vlad-

Me: What? But I have him in one of those little kid-people leashes! How did he escape my gaze?

*Danny shrugs*

Jazz: Maybe you're not as good as you thought you were about those kind of things.

Me: Wow, look who's being hurtful today. I think someone feels threatened by such a smart, capable girl as myself.

Jazz: Yeah, right.

Danny: Anyways, I crashed into a building full of offices and stuff, and in the middle of Vlad raining ecto-blasts at me, this guy randomly asked me to sign some diapers for his kids. I mean, I'm in the middle of a fight with a guy who's supposed to be trapped on a Disasteroid, and he obviously had no sense of self-preservation.

Me: Hmm. Very interesting. Now, what are you getting everyone for Christmas?

Danny: It's summer. How am I supposed to know?

Me: What about you, Jazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…Whoops, fell asleep there. Well, do the parents have anything to say?

Maddie: Well, we just love what our son does, and we couldn't be more proud of him.

Jack: And if anyone tries to hurt him, we'll rip them apart, molecule by painful molecule!

Danny: …Thanks, guys.

Me: So, Danny, you know, all I want for Christmas…is you.

Sam: No way! *Barges through front door with Tucker and Vlad in tow*

Me: Vlad! I told you that this was going to be a…personal…interview with the Fentons!

Vlad: And that is why I told Sam and Tucker that you were holding them hostage.

*I loathe in silence*

Me: All right, fine. I guess I'll just have to include them in everything. Sammie, why don't we start with you?

Sam: And I'll start with this. Call me 'Sammie' again, and I'll give you a reason to be a ghost.

Vlad: Ooh, nice one.

Danny: I hear you're a secretary now, Vlad.

Vlad: I hear you're still flunking math, Daniel.

Jack: And I hear that you should be on an asteroid thousands of light years away from earth.

Vlad: Still bitter, are we?

Danny: Hey, you're the one with a cat named after my mom!

Jack: He has a cat named after Maddie? What's her name?

*Everyone slaps heads*

Maddie: Seriously, though. That's weird.

Vlad: No one asked you, Daniel!

Danny: Do you want your butt kicked again? 'Cause I'll be more than glad…

Me: Guys, guys. Geez, you bring in someone's arch-nemesis and they just can't stop fighting! Anyway, this is an interview. I still have some questions for y'all.

Vlad: Well then, get on with it.

Danny: You work for her? …Serves you right.

Me: Yep, I put him into place. I wish I could get to know you better, Danny. Do you think we could hang out at the Nasty Burger-

Sam: I think you're pretty well-educated, so when I tell you he has a girlfriend, I bet you already knew.

Me: Yep! And since you're just screaming for attention, Samantha, how are you celebrating Chanukah?

Sam: …It's summer.

Me: Oh, come on! Why does everyone keep bringing that up? You're just totally ruining my fun. Now, ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Sam: Honestly, I don't care. Just as long as my parents don't make me wear another pink frilly dress, I'll be okay.

Me: And you for Kwanza, Tucker?

Tucker: The latest PDA. It has speakers and ghost interface that works 3% better than the previous model.

Me: And what do all of you guys want for Christmas?

Jack: Fudge brownies like never before!

Maddie: A new jumpsuit to match this one!

Danny: The day off.

Jazz: World pe-

Me: My, look at the time. See you next chapter!

Jazz: Hey! This is pathetic!

**All right! Sorry for the shortness of chapters, but I really wanted to update before school started again. And now, for a big announcement!**

"**She's finally running out of ideas!"**

**With all the stuff I have to do and my spin-off series "Half-Ghost Stories" in the works and everything else, I'm just getting stumped, so I'm thinking of ending DP Interviews. But not to worry. In my head, the last chapter will be chapter 30, so in the meantime, please upload suggestions for the upcoming chapters, and they will be longer, so not to fear. I'll try to get everything in. Please review! Love ya guys!**


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